


My Cup of Tea

by Kittygreen18



Series: Tabela [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Bisexual Female Character, Coffee Shops, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lesbian Character, Met As Strangers, Mutual Pining, Rich Girl/Poor Girl Dynamic, Slight non-con in the first chapter, book stores, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2019-12-25 14:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18262952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittygreen18/pseuds/Kittygreen18
Summary: “Where are my manners, dear god.” And so she proceeded to take off her jacket and offered it over to me. “It won’t cover you much, but seeing as you don’t have anything warm this will do, right?” I was silent and just looked at the jacket being handed to me. This girl was too generous.The last thing I wanted was to catch a cold or have more people stare at me, so I took the jacket and put it on over my shoulders. “Thank you, you’re so kind. What’s your name?” I didn’t think there was any harm in knowing the name of my hero.The girl smiled, “I’m Tabitha, but I like to shorten it to Tabs.”“You don’t like Tabitha?”“I don’t mind it, but Tabs sounds so much cooler, don’t you think?”In which two strangers meet, one who is a rich beautiful girl, the daughter of the city's mayor, and the other who is a hard working poor girl, an orphan living with her neglectful aunt. Both girls live very different lifestyles, but discover along the way that they both crave the same thing: to be loved.





	1. Meet the characters

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is just an introduction to who the characters are in this story. Next chapter is where the story actually begins. I hope you like them, enjoy!

Name: Pamela Cline

Gender: Female

Race/Ethnicity: Korean-American

Age: 18

Birthday: July 28

Born in: Manhattan, New York

Appearance: She has long, wavy blonde hair, and brown eyes. Her mother is Korean and her father is American, but she looks more like her mother in appearance, who use to be a model. She likes to wear makeup and fashionable clothes, dressing in classy styles 

Pamela Cline's backstory:

Pamela comes from a rich family. Her dad is the mayor of the city. Her mother was a young beautiful Korean woman. Pamela's mother died of a cancer when Pam was 5 years old. Pamela was raised by the money of her father and his many handmaidens, one of which was assigned as her personal caretaker after her mother's death. Pamela's father became depressed for 2 years following the passing of his wife, so without thinking much of his daughter, she was sent to a public school in favor of a private school, where most wealthy children were known to go. Pamela stood out from the rest, but nobody minded much in elementary school. Pamela adapted quickly to public school so she was never changed to a private school.

When Pamela was 9 years old, her father became the mayor of the city. This caused a big change in her life not only at home, but at school as well. People found out that she was the daughter of the mayor, and had a wealthy background; therefore, she was treated differently. Most people would stay away from her in fear that she would use her power against them. Pamela, thinking that was what she was suppose to do, went through a phase where she used this power to her advantage and would act out in order to get her way. Most people didn't appreciate her bossiness and this only resulted in her losing friends. 4th through 7th grade were her worst years, as rumors would spread about her everywhere. Pamela would have some friends here and there, but they were always equally as mean as her. Pamela went through a breaking point in 7th grade when she realized how lonely she was and how much she wanted to have friends like everyone else did. She swore that by 8th grade, she would try to change before she entered high school. Pamela changed her ways, but her classmates did not. Although Pamela stopped bragging and bossing people around, her classmates still saw her as the queen bee she was before. Pamela tried to redeem herself by trying to be nice and friendly to others, but sadly, the damage has been done at her school.

Pamela did her best to get good grades in 8th grade in order to get into a good school far from her neighborhood high school, where she could get away from the past. She succeeded, but it would be a lie if she said she didn't get help from her father. Once she got into that high school, she didn't see any faces from her old school, which made her happy. Except for the fact that many people had already heard rumors about her. Even though Pamela was a changed girl, everyone still saw her for her past. Some people became friends with her, but all of them were temporary because they either wanted her to use her for her money, or they wanted her because Pamela inherited her mother's beauty and boys only saw that about her, which was just as bad as seeing her for her past. Pamela tried her best to stay optimistic and allowed her friends to use her until they no longer needed her. She was going through a tough time where she was desperate for friends and wanted her loneliness to end. All of that came to a stop when Pamela Cline met Tabitha Butcher.

 

Name: Tabitha Butcher

Gender: Female

Race/Ethnicity: White (British)

Age: 17

Birthday: October 14

Born in: London, England

Appearance: Short, wavy brown hair that goes above her shoulders, about chin level, with bangs going over to the left side. Hazel colored eyes. She doesn't wear makeup, when she does it's very light. She has a signature long sleeve denim jacket that she always wears. 

**** Tabitha Butcher's backstory:

Tabitha is a girl born and raised in London. Tabitha lived a normal life as a young girl with loving parents and being spoiled with love being the only child. When she was 8 years old, her parents died in a bus crash. Tabitha was under the care of her grandmother when that happened, so she decided to stay under her care after that. Tabitha and her grandmother became very close after the death of Tabitha's parents. Her grandmother became like a second mother to her and she would give Tabs advice while growing up. Tabs often got bullied at school for being different than everyone else. Since Tabs grew up openly gay, not many people appreciated her personality. But Tabs depended a lot on her grandmother to make her feel better with her wise words.

When Tabitha was 11 years old, her grandmother became very ill and spent the next year sick at home and less energized. Both Tabitha and her grandmother knew that she was going to die soon. Tabitha spend the rest of the year as much as she could with her grandmother. So much so, that she began to eat less and became quiet and closed off during school. Her grades dropped and she was at her worst. She knew that no one else would love her as much as her parents and her grandmother did. Her grandmother, not wanting to send Tabitha to get lost into the foster care system, put Tabs under the care of her aunt, one of her father's sisters. Before passing, Tabitha's grandmother told Tabs to always keep moving forward and leave the past behind, and that things will always get better if you work for it. Taking her grandmother's word, Tabitha let her grandmother go and moved on to meet her aunt.

At first her aunt seemed nice. After her grandmother's funeral, Tabs moved to the US with her aunt at age 12. Once they got to the US and moved into a cheap apartment, Tabs got to see who her aunt really is. Her aunt would barely look at her, always locked herself in her room, and always had a sour expression on her face. Tabs assumed it was because her aunt's mother just passed away, and that she would get into a better mood after a while, but years passed and her aunt never got any nicer. Tabitha always slept in the smallest room which she's pretty sure is actually suppose to be a closet. As Tabitha got older, her relationship with her aunt became worse. They definitely talked more, but it was more arguing than conversation. Her aunt was rarely at home as she preferred to spend time with whatever boyfriend she had at the time, and most of the time she would bring said boyfriends home too. Tabitha tried to stay away from her aunt as much as possible, such as going to the bookstore or arcade whenever she could. Tabitha's aunt worked, but she rarely went to work. And when she did go, she earned a decent amount to survive, which Tabitha found impossible (although it could have been because her aunt might have a thing with her boss).

Tabitha's school life was pretty much normal. She didn't have many friends, just a few classmates with whom she'd talk to once in awhile. Tabitha wasn't very social and liked to keep to herself. She's extremely helpful to those in need, likes to put others needs above her own, and in general became an advocate to stand up for human rights. During her early years in high school, Tabitha tried to earn money in any way she could. She volunteered at many places and helped many people and used the money to buy things she wanted and needed. She gave a portion of the money to her aunt as well in order to help pay for the rent. She also used the money to go grocery shopping and cook dinner whenever her aunt decided not to do anything for the day. During Tabitha's junior year in high school, everything started to pile up on her. She was no longer able to keep up with her grades, and everything became too much without the help of her aunt, so Tabitha dropped out of high school and decided to just focus on surviving.

She spend the next few months working better jobs and volunteering, as well as caring for her house and cooking meals for her and her aunt. She spend most of her time on the streets going for walks or enjoying her hobbies, anything to get away from home. Tabitha always keeps her grandmother's words buried in her head and in her heart. It's what keeps her going as an individual in an optimistic way. But deep down beneath her smile, she knows that no one in this world truly loves her. She misses the feeling of having someone love her and care for her well being. All of that changed, when Tabitha met Pamela.

Name: Anita Jones

Gender: Female

Race/Ethnicity: African-American 

Age: 19

Birthday: August 24

Born in: Orlando, Florida

Appearance: She has small curly black hair in an afro style and brown eyes. She wears makeup but goes for more natural looks, and dresses in casual attire. 

Anita Jones’ backstory:

Anita was born in Orlando, Florida. She lived there for 11 years, then moved to Manhattan, New York with her family after her family’s house was intentionally burned down as a result of a racial hate crime. Anita moved away with her mother, father, and younger brother to escape a life of hateful treatment and settled in Manhattan with her grandparents.

Anita and her brother Andy both experienced racism at their all white school and white neighborhood, and planned to move to a different neighborhood, but had a change of plans after their house was found burned to ashes by a coworker of her parents. The Jones family lost a lot of property as well as personal items. The transition from Orlando to Manhattan was tough to get use to, but moving to a more diverse neighborhood allowed Anika and her family to live a much more peaceful life. They will never escape racism completely, but Anita has devoted herself to fighting for social justice and currently works at Dusty Reads bookstore, earning money to pay back her college tuition.

Name: Emilio “Milo” Rodriguez

Gender: Male

Race/Ethnicity: Dominican-American

Age: 17

Birthday: April 1st

Born in: Tucson, Arizona

Appearance: Has a head of black curls with shaved sides. Tan skin, brown eyes. He has his ears pierced and wears crystal stud earrings. He likes to wear Hawaiian shirts in the summer and buttoned jackets in the winter. Overall, he's usually very fashionable. 

Milo Rodriguez’s backstory: 

Milo grew up in Tucson to two immigrant parents. His parents, along with his older brother Carlos, moved to the United States to visit Milo’s grandparents before his grandfather passed away, 3 years before he was born. They came to the US on a visa and stayed after the visa expired. Milo grew up in a Latino neighborhood, so he never felt out of place culturally. However, from a young age Milo knew he was different from the other boys. He enjoyed talking about girls, but not in the same way that the other boys did. He also enjoyed hanging out with the girls more than any of the boys did in his class. He never thought much about it, since he grew up being extroverted and outgoing, so he talked to boys and girls equally.

As he entered middle school, he began to notice that he enjoyed talking about boys with the girls more than talking about girls with the boys. He also began to develop interests in fashion and music that would usually result in him getting made fun of by some of his classmates. Milo often got bullied and called gay, to which he never denied. He allowed himself to get called names, and continued to be himself no matter what. Milo always knew who he was, and never denied who he was. He kept his good friends close, and kept his supportive family close as well. Some days were harder than others, being openly gay, and the bullying went too far sometimes as well, but Milo never let it get to him. By the time Milo was starting senior year of high school, his family moved to Manhattan, New York because his mother got a new job. This is how Milo got his own job at Dusty Reads and met his friends.

Name: Jack Doyle

Gender: Male

Race/Ethnicity: White/Caucasian

Age: 19

Birthday: May 29

Born in: New York City, New York

Appearance: He has a messy brown quiff, and dark green eyes. He usually wears green cargo pants, and a neutral colored shirt (black, white, gray, beige). 

Jack was born in New York City to unknown parents, because he was put up for adoption immediately after birth. At 6 months old, however, Jack was adopted by his two moms and took up the last name of one of his mothers. He grew up living a normal childhood, with his adopted younger sister Darcy and his two moms. He always did well in school, earning perfect grades and was very involved in wrestling. 

Unfortunately, when Jack was 13 he was involved in an accident that resulted in him losing his left leg, so Jack lives his life using a prosthetic leg. He decided quitting wrestling was for the best, and continues to live life finding new hobbies in reading and helping others train for wrestling. Jack moves to Manhattan with his family for a simple change, and there he meets his friends through his frequent visits to Dusty Reads. 


	2. Pamela

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where are my manners, dear god.” And so she proceeded to take off her jacket and offered it over to me. “It won’t cover you much, but seeing as you don’t have anything warm this will do, right?” I was silent and just looked at the jacket being handed to me. This girl was too generous.  
> The last thing I wanted was to catch a cold or have more people stare at me, so I took the jacket and put it on over my shoulders. “Thank you, you’re so kind. What’s your name?” I didn’t think there was any harm in knowing the name of my hero.  
> The girl smiled, “I’m Tabitha, but I like to shorten it to Tabs.”  
> “You don’t like Tabitha?”  
> “I don’t mind it, but Tabs sounds so much cooler, don’t you think?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first chapter! Honestly I have no idea where this is going but even if no one reads it I just wanted a place to keep my story so here we go. Slight trigger warning, there's a bit of non/con in this chapter, so just be careful.

Pamela's POV

 

  
Walking into the party was exactly what I expected. A ball of people dancing in the middle of the dance floor, people talking loudly into each other's ears trying to hear over the music, drunk guys and girls grinding on each other, and many inappropriate wandering eyes. This certainly isn't a surprise to me as this isn't my first experience at a public party. The only difference is the people I go with every time.

  
Today I was invited to go with Gina and her friends. She brought along her best friend Laura, Laura’s boyfriend David, and David’s friend Mark. I wore a simple tight red dress with matching red lipstick and eye shadow, put together with my gold shoes that I obviously got from my dad. I hoped nobody would mention that tonight.

  
We settled at a place in the corner by the bar and put our stuff down. Upon hearing the upbeat music of the party, Laura grabbed David’s hand and began dragging him away.

  
“David, lets go dance! I LOVE this song!” she yelled over the music as her boyfriend chuckled and complied. I smiled and tried to enjoy myself, thinking maybe I would actually have fun today. I looked at Gina, who was currently watching Laura and her boyfriend being couple goals, and I grabbed her arm.

  
“Come on, we should go dance too!” She looked at me and her smile dropped just slightly, but then she smiled brightly again.

  
“You two should go ahead, i’ll stay here and watch our stuff.” She nodded towards our pile of jackets and purses.

  
“Oh, are you sure?” I asked, not wanting Gina to be left out from the group. She nodded and grabbed my hand.

  
“Of course, we can switch out and take turns watching our stuff. Now go! Mark, take Pam out to dance!” Gina grabbed Mark’s hand and linked it together with mine. Mark looked at our hands and smirked.

  
“Alright, let’s go ahead babe,” he winked looking me up and down. For some reason, I didn't get good vibes from him in that moment. But I refuse to judge anyone before getting to know them, so I decided dancing with him wouldn't hurt. I smiled at him and he pulled me away to where Laura and David were.

  
Laura noticed Gina’s absence, so she leaned over to me and asked, “Hey, where’s Gina?”

  
“Oh, she’s over there watching our stuff.” I pointed over to where Gina sat, who was currently declining some random guy asking her to dance. I saw the look on Laura’s face change from happy to maybe a bit… devious? She didn’t seem phased by Gina offering to stay like I was, sort of like she was expecting this from Gina. I passed it off as a thing that Gina normally does and continued dancing with the group.

  
Eventually, we ended up getting separated, Laura and David were somewhere else while Mark and I were more towards the front of the room, where the DJ was playing more hip hop music and everyone was dancing their hearts out, as you would at any party. Mark would grin at me and would make highly suggestive dance moves, which would cause me to burst out laughing at him.

“Yeah girl, I know you want me,” he winked and rubbed what I assume were his abs underneath. I laughed so much I felt my own abs starting to form.

“Oh my god Mark, don’t do that!”

“You’re right, I might just burn this place with my sexiness.”

“Stop!” I lightly smacked his arm as I burst into giggles. This might be the most fun I’ve actually had at a party like this before.

But of course, I always thought that. Then it would turn out, it was too good to be true.

“Oh, how selfish of me, we should be talking about you more,” he slurred as he got utterly close to me. I might have backed away just a bit at that.

  
“What about me?” I asked sounding slightly apprehensive.

  
“Like about how hot you look in that dress.” He was definitely not looking at my face anymore. “And how hot it’s making me feel.” He unbuttoned the first button on his shirt. At this point, the crowd had kinda pushed us away from the center and we were just milling around in the corner. No one had noticed us and if they did, they probably just dismissed us as some crazy drunk couple in the corner.

  
I must have looked obviously uncomfortable, but that probably encouraged him more. He started to lean into me, and I was so frozen in shock that I didn’t say anything to protest. He was merely inches away from my face, but I was scared of what he might do if I backed away, so I just stayed there, staring at him, like an idiot.

  
Then it happened. His lips finally made contact with mine and I didn’t kiss back, nor did I close my eyes. Did I even want this? Why am I letting this happen? He continued to kiss me and his hands landed on my waist. His hands lingered there for a moment until I felt one hand slip down to cup my butt and the other went down to my thigh. His hand inched closer inside my thigh, and that was enough.

  
“Stop it!” I shrieked, pushing him away, trying to catch my breath. He looked at me in shock and almost anger. “I don’t want this!” I shouted. Mark's eyebrows rose at my anger, but that didn’t stop him. He just laughed and pressed his body against mine.

  
“Oh, but why wouldn’t you? I saw the way you looked at me, you absolutely want me, and I need you. Help me out, won’t you?” Mark grabbed my hand and trailed it down his body, and I could not stand it anymore. I wasn’t going to do anything like this ever again. So I shoved him away, hard.

  
“Leave me alone!” He stumbled backwards and this time, he was genuinely shocked at what I did, just stared back at me as I ran away, away from him to the other side of the room where he could no longer follow me. I suddenly felt hyper aware of everyone’s presence in the room so I went into the bathroom to cool myself off.

  
I regained my composure after about a minute of deep breaths and processing what had just happened. Yet another guy had used me like I was nothing. I didn’t want to partake in anything I didn't want to do ever again, so I had to stop him there. I decided to go look for Gina and tell her what happened. Maybe she would understand and yell at Mark for me. I went back out to where our stuff and Gina had previously been. But something was off.

  
Gina and the stuff were gone. She was nowhere to be seen.

  
I went through the crowd again to look for Laura and David, to look for Gina, maybe even Mark. But all of them were gone. They were nowhere to be seen. I rushed outside to the parking lot where we were parked. All I was met with was an empty parking space.

  
They left me behind. They left me alone, and they took my jacket, purse, phone and money. That was it. Once again, I was played and used and made to believe that they actually cared about me, that I might actually make friends. I actually believed that they wanted to get to know me and be friends with me. It’s always the same result, but I want to believe they have genuine intentions. I want to believe that, but they never do.

  
I didn’t have any money to take the bus home, nor did I have my phone to look for directions to get home. I was brought out here a couple miles away from home and left alone. The sky was already dim and lonely and I was wearing a dress, shivering. I could only pray I would make it home safely.

  
I didn’t know where I was walking, but I hoped to end up on a street I would recognize or nearby a store where I could get help. I walked past a group of men who stared uncomfortably and made all kinds of disturbing noises at me. People in cars honked and shouted inappropriate comments. I had nothing to cover up.  
For some reason I thought it would be safer to walk through the park, where no one would see me. I was wrong.

  
I passed by a man in his mid forties wearing a large black coat and smoking a cigar. He eyed me closely as I passed, and I felt chills as he stared at me. After I passed him, I was relieved, until I heard the footsteps behind me.

  
He was following me.

  
He somehow caught up to me and whispered behind my ear, “Hey baby, why are you out all alone?” By his tone of voice, I knew that wasn’t a genuine question. There was no one around and no one would save me from this man. I tried to hide my soft cries from him as he got closer and closer as we walking. I didn’t want him to see me crying, because that would only encourage him.

  
I tried to wipe away my tears but more kept coming as I was drowned in fear of what would happen next. He continued to follow me and said, ”come on sweetie, don’t ignore someone who’s talking to you.”

  
I gathered up the courage to speak up through my tears and said in a barely whisper, “leave me alone.”

  
“What did you say to me?” he said in a low husky voice, standing nearly beside me. I held my breath.

  
“She said leave her alone.” Both the stranger and I turned around and were blessed by the presence of a young British girl, who was about my age, with short wavy messy hair, wearing a nice denim jacket, looking like an absolute knight in shining armor. She looked at me and her eyes knitted in worry as she took in my current messy state. The man took his attention away from me and focused on the girl in front of us.

  
“Yeah, and is this any of your business?” he said in a heavy voice.

  
“Doesn’t matter. If the lady says to leave her alone, then you fucking leave her alone. She obviously wants nothing to do with you, so I suggest you leave or I’ll have to call the police,” the girl said sternly, glaring at the man.

  
The look on the man’s face immediately changed once the girl started to pull out her cell phone. “You wouldn’t dare you little brat.”  
“Then get out of here, idiot!”

  
“Alright you little bitch, I’m leaving.” The man took in the sight of me once more before rushing off past the girl, not forgetting to give her a dirty look, then he was out of sight. It was just me and that girl left.

  
The girl reached into one of the pockets of her sweat pants and took out a small package of tissues. She held it out towards me. I must look like a mess, how embarrassing.

  
“Are you alright, love?” She looked at me with concern and fondness. This was something I was not use to getting from someone my age. I realized I was staring too long and hadn’t answered her question yet. I shook my head.

  
“Yes, I’m fine, thank you so much,” I said as I wiped my face with the tissue.

  
“I think it’s safe to assume you were at the party down a few blocks back, am I right?”

  
I looked down at my attire and how much I must have stood out and blushed, “Ah, yeah, I was there,” I giggled nervously. There was an awkward silence where we just avoided eye contact for a bit until I heard the girl gasp and her eyes go wide. I looked up in surprise.

  
“Where are my manners, dear god.” And so she proceeded to take off her jacket and offered it over to me. “It won’t cover you much, but seeing as you don’t have anything warm this will do, right?” I was silent and just looked at the jacket being handed to me. This girl was too generous.

  
The last thing I wanted was to catch a cold or have more people stare at me, so I took the jacket and put it on over my shoulders. “Thank you, you’re so kind. What’s your name?” I didn’t think there was any harm in knowing the name of my hero.

  
The girl smiled, “I’m Tabitha, but I like to shorten it to Tabs.”

  
“You don’t like Tabitha?”

  
“I don’t mind it, but Tabs sounds so much cooler, don’t you think?”

  
I laughed. It does sound cooler. Maybe I could start going by Pam. Pam sounds like ham. Maybe not.

  
“I’m Pamela. I don’t ask people to shorten it to Pam, but some people do it anyway.”

  
Tabs laughed, “it’s alright, I think Pamela sounds beautiful as it is.” I smiled, having long forgotten about the day’s events. Until Tabs decided ask, “so, why are you out here all alone at almost 12am?” My smile dropped.

  
“W-well… I went to the party with some friends… well I don’t think they are my friends, but we went to the party together, and things happened, but they kinda stole my phone, and my money, and my jacket and purse.”

  
“Oh dear, why would they do that?!” I looked down and shrugged, because even I didn’t know why they would do that. Some people don’t know how to let go of the past.

Tabitha must have sensed the change in my attitude as she immediately gave me a reassuring smile. A huge gust of wind blew in the air and Tabitha found that as a cue to ask, “The coffee shop is actually not far from here, would you like to stop by to warm up a bit? Afterwards I can help you get home, if you’d like…” I noticed a hint of a blush on her face as she looked away from me.

  
This was the moment when I felt overjoyed once again. It’s almost like being invited to go out with groups of friends to hang out, only this time, for some odd reason, Tabitha’s offer feels a bit different. It feels more sincere and honest, if I dare to say. It felt like I wasn’t going to be used for my money, or for my things, or for sex. It felt like a genuine offer.

  
I was so happy I might have slipped out a giggle. “I’d love that.”


	3. The Coffee Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s at least warmer in here, and the place is very cute, I wouldn’t mind coming here more often,” I announced. 
> 
> Tabitha sighed in contentment, “I come here many times a week. When it’s cold out, this place is nice and warm, and when it’s hot out, this place is cool and fresh. It’s the perfect place to go anytime of the year, really.” 
> 
> A waitress came to our table and asked us what we were ordering. I didn’t know much about what was good here and what wasn’t, so I simply ordered a regular hot vanilla coffee. Tabs ordered a black tea. I would have never guessed. 
> 
> After the waitress left, I looked at Tabitha and smirked, “Tea, huh?”
> 
> Tabitha laughed, “I know. How very British of me.”

Pamela's POV

The walk to the coffee shop wasn’t very long. It only took about 5 minutes to get there and we quickly sat down at one of the tables in the corner. The place was surrounded by an astounding amount shelves with books, amazing DIY decorations, and very soft colors. 

“It’s at least warmer in here, and the place is very cute, I wouldn’t mind coming here more often,” I announced. 

Tabitha sighed in contentment, “I come here many times a week. When it’s cold out, this place is nice and warm, and when it’s hot out, this place is cool and fresh. It’s the perfect place to go anytime of the year, really.” 

A waitress came to our table and asked us what we were ordering. I didn’t know much about what was good here and what wasn’t, so I simply ordered a regular hot vanilla coffee. Tabs ordered a green tea. I would have never guessed. 

After the waitress left, I looked at Tabitha and smirked, “Tea, huh?”

Tabitha laughed, “I know. How very British of me.”

Suddenly I wondered, “Did you live in the UK at some point in your life?”

“Yep, I was born and raised in London. I lived there until I was about 13 years old.”

“Oh wow, so not that long ago I assume?” 

Tabitha shook her head, “I’ve only been here in this country for about 4 years.” 

That meant that Tabitha was 17, close to my age. For some reason that simple fact made me happy knowing we had that in common. 

“I’m curious about you though,” Tabitha said, resting her chin on her hands, “I can’t immediately tell what your race is.”

Most people couldn’t. My face obviously screams out I’m Asian but my hair confused people, because I have long, wavy blonde hair. My natural hair is a more dirty blonde, but I dyed my hair to make it look more blonde than brown.

“I’m half Korean, half white!” I said with a sense of pride. That will always be one of my favorite traits about myself, because it’s what makes me one of a kind. I haven't met anyone else of a mixed race like mine.

“No way, that’s really cool! I’ve met a few biracial people who had a white parent and a black parent, but never one who was a mix with an Asian parent,” Tabitha stated in disbelief. I smiled brightly at her.

“I’m glad to be the first. My mom was Korean, and my dad is white.” I saw Tabitha’s face fall. Then I realized what I said. 

“Ah… I’m sorry, did you say-” 

“Was? Yeah, she isn't alive anymore,” I looked down at my coffee, “She died when I was 5.” I looked up at Tabitha, who stopped smiling for the first time that night. I instantly regretted turning this conversation into my sad story again. I didn’t need any more pity. But what I didn't expect was Tabitha’s next response.

“I lost both of my parents when I was 8 years old.”

I didn’t want to be rude and look really shocked, but my wide eyes and slightly open mouth must have been a dead giveaway. I looked down, feeling bad that I had only lost one parent while here she was with both of her parents gone. Sometimes, I would forget that there are people out there who don’t have any parents while I would just be in my room crying for not having one of my parents. I decided to try and change the subject.

“Did you look more like your mom or dad?” I asked with a shy smile. Tabitha looked up at me and giggled softly.

“I looked more like my mother, but acted more like my father.” 

We both laughed loudly at that statement, and I swear I felt our hearts beat in sync. 

After we settled down from the laughter, Tabitha’s face went back to her sad smile. “I know I brought you here to cheer up, but sometimes it helps to talk about things that bother you. Do you want to talk about what happened today? I mean, you don’t have to, but I feel it’s a pretty big deal that some people stole your belongings.” 

My face fell too. I knew I would be curious too if I put myself in her shoes and saw how pathetic I must have looked back then. I could feel the sincerity in Tabitha’s voice, like she was genuinely offering to listen and she really cared about what happened to me. I decided there was no reason for me not to share.

“Well, I was hanging out with some people from my high school. I was invited by this one girl named Gina to go out with her and her friends to this party. I don’t have any friends, so I was hoping that by going with them maybe I had a chance to become a part of their friend group. When we got there, Gina promised to look after our stuff while the rest of us went to dance. I was pulled out to dance by one of Gina’s friends, Mark, and I had fun with him and everything was going well, until…” I trailed off, struggling to continue on. 

I looked up at Tabitha and our eyes met. She was listening attentively and gave me a reassuring look to go on, a look that made me feel secure to continue talking. I took a deep breath. “He started to say things, like, highly suggestive words, and that’s when I knew something was wrong. He insisted that I wanted him, and he went and kissed me without my consent. He went further and touched me, and I was so startled and angry that I pushed him away and ran to hide in the bathroom,” I swallowed the lump in my throat before I continued talking, “I came out later on and went to look for Gina, but she was gone. He was gone. Laura and David were gone. Our stuff was gone, including mine. Even the car where it was parked was gone. They left with everything except for me.” 

At this point, I was crying again. Tabitha’s eyebrows furrowed as she watched me with sympathy, “I don’t understand, why would these guys want to do that to you?” 

I shook my head. “It’s not the first time it happened to me, Tabs.”  I saw Tabitha’s face change from sad to one of shock and anger.

“What do you mean it’s not the first time?!”

I sniffled and continue talking, “I’ve never had a real friend. I was always judged because of my background and my family.”

“Well… if you don’t mind me asking, what’s wrong with your background?”

I guess she didn't know. At first I didn’t want to tell her for fear that she would judge me or treat me differently. But Tabitha seemed so concerned, she made it hard for me not to spill everything I was feeling out loud to her. I wouldn’t want to lie to her either, so I decided to just come clean. 

I looked around to see if there were people nearby who could listen. We were sitting in the last table at the far end and no one was paying attention to us. I leaned in towards Tabitha and she leaned in when I did. I decided to go for it.

“My dad is the mayor.”

Tabitha’s mouth fell open. “Your dad is Mayor Robert Cline?”

I nodded. “He’s been mayor since I was like 9, and that’s when everything changed. My family goes down generations of wealthy ancestors, and after he became mayor, people found out about my background and treated me differently. I guess it’s my fault though, because I let the power get to my head and I became known as a “queen bee” for being a little stuck up brat.”

I looked up to see Tabitha’s disappointed face, and it made me fall apart again, “I didn’t know any better, I swear I’m not like that anymore!” I cried, hiding my face into my hands in shame.

Tabitha must have realized what she did and gasped, “oh no love, of course you didn’t! I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything…” Tabitha stared at me helplessly, not knowing what to do, so she got up and moved from sitting in front of me in the booth, to sitting next to me. I looked up at her, and she seemed nervous and hesitant. 

“Hey… is it okay if I hug you? You seem like you need a hug, and sometimes they help people feel better...” Tabitha asked, blushing. I couldn’t help it, and despite just crying my eyes out I let out a teary giggle. I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face into her shoulder. She wrapped her arms above my trembling shoulders until I was only sniffling. Eventually, she spoke up. “And don’t say you’ve never had a real friend, because I’m volunteering to be your real friend.”

I looked up at Tabitha with hopeful (desperate) eyes. “R-really? You actually want to be friends with me?” 

Tabitha laughed, “Of course, love, I enjoy your company. Even though it was mostly spent with you crying.” I face turned beet red from embarrassment and Tabitha burst out laughing, “Oh Pamela, I’m only kidding.” And suddenly I was also laughing along with her. 

“Tabs, I would love for you to be my real friend.” 

I felt Tabitha smile above me and hug me tighter. I had only just met this girl today and I already felt a connection. Unlike other people who have told me they wanted to be my friend, everything Tabs had said this night felt very sincere. She makes me feel like my feelings and thoughts matter, which is ironic because she’s a stranger, but that could be part of the reason. Everyone else judges me for what they think they know about my background. But to Tabs, it seems like it doesn’t matter. At least, I hope it stays that way. The old Pamela is gone. I’m no longer the “Queen Bee” brat I used to be. I’m older now and I realized it’s best to be liked than to be feared. Although very few people see my efforts to change, I’m determined to not let Tabitha EVER see that side of me, the bossy mean Pamela that I used to be years ago. She’s actually giving me a chance, and I will not blow it. 

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t realize I was still holding on to Tabitha, so I awkwardly let go and sat up in my seat. Tabitha glanced at her phone and I caught a glimpse of the time. It was 12:45am, almost 1 in the morning. I knew I had to be home soon.

As if reading my mind, Tabitha said, “it’s getting late, we should probably get you home.”

“Yeah,” I said, turning towards her. “Can I borrow your phone to call my caretaker?”

“Oh, you have a caretaker?” Tabitha asked as she unlocked her phone to hand to me.

“Yes! Her name is Nitty. She’s technically a maid, but my dad likes to call her my caretaker instead since she’s the one who took care of me after my mom died.” I dialed Nitty’s phone number and pressed call.

“Wow, she sounds like a very sweet person,” Tabitha said, watching me while she rested her hand on her palm. 

“She is, I love her very much,” I said, remembering all those times Nitty took care of me. When Nitty picked up, I told her my exact location (with the help of Tabs since I didn’t know the area that well) and Nitty was on her way in a flash. I knew I would only have a few more minutes with Tabitha before we had to say goodbye. Since I was still holding Tabitha’s phone, I decided to go ahead and put in my phone number.

Tabitha saw and grinned, “I was about to ask. Looks like you thought another step ahead of me.” 

I handed her the phone, “We’re probably meant to be.”

Tabitha giggled, then she paused. “But wait, your phone was stolen?”

“Yeah, I kinda have another phone too. Rich dad, remember?” I chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of my neck. “It’s not as new as my current phone that was stolen, but it still works fine.”

“Oh, I see. It must be cool to be able to have many things, huh?” Tabitha grinned. 

I shook my head, “It’s great and all, but no matter how much stuff a person can have, none of that matters if you don’t have anyone to share it with.”

Tabitha nodded, “That is very true. So money can’t buy you happiness, huh?”

“Despite contrary belief, no it can not.”

We sat in silence for a while, then it hit me. How is Tabitha getting home? I decided to voice my concerns.

“Tabitha, how are you getting home?” 

Tabitha looked up from her tea. She thought for a moment. “I’ll just walk home.”

I looked at her as if she just announced she was running home naked, “You’re crazy!” I said out loud, “It’s dangerous to be out this late at night!”

“Oh, I can take care of myself. I go out on late night walks all the time. I’ll be fine!” Tabitha assured me, showing me another bright smile. I supposed since she was great at handling that creep earlier, maybe she would be able to take care of herself. Tabitha seemed like a really strong, independent person, so I let her be for now. 

We were distracted by a familiar small black car coming into view outside the window. “That’s a really nice car. I’m guessing that’s your ride?” 

“Yeah,” I said, not enthusiastically. At first I just wanted this day to end. Now I was feeling sad about having say goodbye to Tabitha. 

She must have noticed my change of attitude, so she held my hand with both of hers to get my attention.

“Hey,” she said softly, “this isn’t goodbye forever. It’s really late so we didn’t get to spend a lot of time getting to know each other, but I’m hoping I can see you again soon? I’d really like to take the time to get to know you and become good friends with you. I-If you would like that, of course!” Her kind and confident demeanor disappeared, replaced with shyness, which made me giggle.

“I would love that, Tabitha. You have my number, you can text me whenever you want. I’ll be waiting,” I said as Tabitha got up, allowing me to get out by helping me up with our joined hands. We stood there awkwardly in front of each other, both waiting to see who made the first move to say goodbye. 

Tabitha made the first move. She pulled me into a tight hug, and I hugged her back just as tight. “Thank you so much for saving me,” I whispered into her ear. I felt Tabitha laugh softly into my ear, her warm breath crawling down my neck. 

“Until next time, Pamela.”

“I’ll be waiting, Tabitha.”

I walked out of the coffee shop and into the car. We drove away. 

 


	4. Tabitha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me: Good morning! Did you sleep well? 😊
> 
> Seems like an okay message. Or is it too long? Should I take out the last part? I'm going to take out the last part.
> 
> 10:26am Me: Good morning! 😊
> 
> This is probably better… Before I change my mind, I hit sent and waited for a reply. Meanwhile I browsed around Tumblr, not wanting to get up and start my day yet. I received a message back:
> 
> 10:28am Pamela 💛🌹: Good morning Tabs! Did you sleep well?
> 
> I guess I should've left that part in then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the emojis..... enjoy :)

 

Tabitha's POV

After Pamela left with Nitty, I decided to walk back home. It was 1 in the morning, really dark out, just how I like it. I knew it was late, but it’s not like anyone was waiting for me back home. I didn’t live alone, I lived with my aunt Mel. But she couldn’t care less when I got home. She probably didn’t even know I was still out. Better yet, she’s the one who probably isn’t home yet either.

It was a regular thing for aunt Mel to be out with her boyfriends. I say boyfriends because she can never just stick to one. It’s always different men who she brings home or whose home she goes to. I honestly can’t take it to be in the same room as them.

If it wasn’t obvious enough, I do not have a good relationship with my aunt. I was stuck with her after my grandmother passed away, and the only reason I tolerate her is so I don’t get put into the foster care system, even though I could have been taken from her long ago. She isn't exactly the best guardian, as she only cooks about 3 times a week and never has enough money to pay the rent. I’m the one who usually completes the pay and cooks meals everyday. I’m basically the adult of the house. I decided to move out when I turn 18, which would be in about 2 months. I would technically be an adult and I’ll handle living on my own much better.

I got home to our small apartment and made my way inside. All the lights were off, an indication that Mel wasn’t home; and probably wouldn't be home until the next day.

I walked over past the messy kitchen, which I knew I would have to clean tomorrow morning, and passed the living room, turning off the abandoned T.V. I stared at the television that I just turned off, surrounded in complete darkness. The darkness made me more aware of my tired state and I could barely keep my eyes open. I made my way down the hallway that’s heading towards the bedroom. I say the bedroom because there’s only one bedroom in this apartment.

And obviously I don’t get to sleep in it.

As I approached the large bedroom, I stopped a few feet short, turning to door on the left, which should be a small closet where a normal person would store their clothes.

It’s not. This hole in the tree is my bedroom.

I’ve been living in this closet for as long as we’ve lived here. We couldn’t afford to find a better place to live and with only one bedroom, of course aunt Mel would make me sleep here. But if I look on the bright side, I still get to have my privacy and would rather have my own “room” than sleep on the couch.

It’s quite ironic because I don’t have a bed. I sleep on top of a pile of about 5 blankets. I would still prefer to sleep here than on the couch, because sometimes I have my bad days too, and I need to have my own privacy to just think, and having aunt Mel walk in on me crying or talking to my dead parents and grandmother is something I do not want to be teased about by her. Or her guests that she constantly brings over.

If you’ve started to pity me, I wouldn’t blame you. But I’ve learned to keep a positive mind and have the mindset of “it could be worse.” I mostly appreciate the things I have now, and I’m always thankful neither my grandmother or my aunt Mel ever put me into foster care. Or set me up for adoption. Because they could have done that when they were not my legal guardians.

Grandma loved me too much to do that. Mel needed me to pay the bills.

For the most part, I’ve learned to accept that aunt Mel won’t love me as much as my parents or grandma did. She was just stuck with me after my grandma died and kept me as my grandma’s dying wish to take me in. Then she discovered I was useful as a child slave and decided not to give me up. Yeah, that’s what I’m useful for.

I’ve also learned to accept that no one actually loves me. I’m not a very social person, I talk to a few of the people who work with me and I’m able to smile and have wonderful conversations with them, they are all lovely people. But I know that if anything were to happen to me or if I went missing, they wouldn’t realize right away or miss me for that matter.

I learned to become independent, and help other people without expecting anything in return, because I never get anything in return anyway. Their faces of happiness and gratitude is enough for me to be satisfied. Which is what I got from Pamela after saving her.

Pamela, she’s a special girl. I saw her alone and I saw the look in that man’s eyes, they were dangerous. Me being myself, I just had to step in to help that poor girl. After I saved her, I saw how sad and vulnerable she looked, and I felt it in my heart. I couldn’t just leave her alone, and she looked like she needed the company of another person. Or perhaps I was the one who needed company… doesn’t matter.

What I didn’t expect was for me to take her to the coffee shop and buy her coffee. I felt drawn to her and like I needed to do what I did. That whole night she seemed nervous, that being obvious since she had a rough night, so I tried to seem as nonchalant as possible, and she seemed to feel safe with me since she opened up to me, but really, that brave character that I put up was only a mask.

I was mentally shitting my pants with anxiety.

Yes, the “brave, outspoken Tabitha” was actually nervous because she was sitting in front of a pretty girl who was in a vulnerable state, and she felt like she needed to do everything in her willpower to make this girl feel better and smile!

Which I succeeded to do, applaud me for that!

That reminds me, I also did get Pamela’s phone number. I’ll be sure to text her tomorrow morning, because we’re friends now. An unusual way to make a friend, but nonetheless I’m excited to learn more about her! For now, I’ll allow sleep to take over me and rest peacefully after a long night.

                                                                                                                           

* * *

 

I woke up the next morning to the light seeping in through the crack beneath the door. I rubbed my eyes and looked up into the darkness of my room. It’s a closet, so there’s no source of outside light other than the cracks on the edge of the door. I reached up and turned on the light, allowing myself to wake up. I grabbed my phone and checked the time. It was 10 am, and by the silence in the house, I knew that Mel wasn’t home yet. I wasn’t worried. The longest she has been gone was probably a full 5 days, which is a lot since she’s usually gone for a whole day. Though I wouldn’t really know since I try not to spend a lot of time at home.

All the memories of last night came flooding in, and I remembered meeting Pamela and checked my phone. Sure enough, her phone number was there, under the name ‘Pamela💛🌹’ with a yellow heart and a red rose emoji. I clicked on the contact and went to the messages. I wonder if Pamela is awake already. Who am I kidding, I wake up when it’s nearly lunch time. I start to type out a message:

 **Me** : Good morning! Did you sleep well? 😊

Seems like an okay message. Or is it too long? Should I take out the last part? I'm going to take out the last part.

10:26am **Me** : Good morning! 😊

This is probably better… Before I change my mind, I hit sent and waited for a reply. Meanwhile I scrolled through Tumblr, not wanting to get up and start my day yet. I received a message back:

10:28am **Pamela** 💛🌹: Good morning Tabs! Did you sleep well?

I guess I should've left that part in then.

10:29am **Me** : I'm fine, but what about you? After what happened yesterday…

10:31am **Pamela** 💛🌹: it's ok. I'm use to it, it's not like this was the first time anyway

10:31am **Pamela** 💛🌹: buuut I'm actually better than I usually am when this happens 😊 I guess I really needed that coffee lol

I smiled down at my phone after reading that. I'm glad I was able to cheer her up.

10:32am **Me** : that’s great to hear! Did you have breakfast?

10:32am **Pamela** 💛🌹: I did 😉 I had an omelet with sausage and pancakes

10:33am **Me** : Wow that sounds amazing 😮 I’m about to make myself some waffles with eggs.

10:34am **Pamela** 💛🌹: whaaat, you know how to cook?!

10:35am **Me** : I had to learn how to cook for myself because no one else would do it for me.

10:37am **Pamela** 💛🌹: Right, I’m sorry 😟 I forget that I’m not as independent as others haha

10:37am **Me** : no no don’t feel bad! Everyone is different, and that’s okay 😊

10:38am **Pamela** 💛🌹: You’re right, thanks 😅 so what are you doing today?

10:39am **Me** : I have work at 11:30, so I should get ready soon.

10:39am **Me:** You should come by! That is, if you aren’t busy of course. And if you like books 😉

10:40am **Pamela** 💛🌹: I love books! ❤ where do you work?

10:41am **Me** : Dusty Reads, the bookstore downtown!

10:42am **Pamela** 💛🌹: Oh I think I know where that is! I don’t think i've been there though

10:43am **Me** : well you should totally check it out today if you can! I have to get ready, it was great talking to you Pamela!

10:44am **Pamela** 💛🌹: I’ll be there for sure! I don’t have anything important to do today. It was nice talking to you too, but i’ll see you later then?

10:45am **Me** : Yes! I’ll see you Pamela

10:45am **Pamela** 💛🌹: Bye Tabs 💙

I set my phone down and stepped out of my room. I went to the kitchen and began to make my eggs, feeling like today was going to be a good day.


	5. Dusty Reads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anita stepped up to him, smiling politely, “Can we help you with something?”
> 
> The boy smiled, “Yeah. My name is Milo, I came here to do an interview with your boss because I heard y’all were hiring here. Is he around?” 
> 
> Anita nodded, “I’ll go see if he’s not busy and let him know you’re here. I’ll be back.” Anita walked away, leaving me with Pamela and Milo. Milo walked next to Pamela and gasped. 
> 
> “Is this handbag from Kamara?!” he asked. 
> 
> “Yes! Do you like it?”
> 
> “It’s gorgeous! Kamara has so many beautiful accessories. But that brand is super expensive, you’re lucky to be able to get your hands on it. Take good care of that, girl!” he exclaimed.

Tabitha's POV    

To get to work I either walk, or take the bus, depending on how I’m feeling or the weather. Since the weather is nice I decided to walk and breathe in the fresh August morning air. The sound of the streets of Manhattan brings me a familiar feeling of being at home. It’s not the same feeling I get thinking about London, but this is still home to me as much as London is. I can’t imagine not living in the city. 

I make my way down the street where the bookstore is located. I pass multiple little stores and shops around before making it to my store. I walk in and set off the small bell at the door, announcing my arrival to everyone inside. My boss, Tim, a middle aged white man sat at the counter and glared at me as I walked in. He stood up from behind the counter and rushed over to me. 

“Butcher, you’re late! We can’t have this becoming a habit!” the man said, not bothering to hide his annoyance. I shake my head.

“Sorry sir, it won’t be a habit. I’ll get straight to work.” I took a seat behind the front desk to show him that I was set on getting started right away. He looked down at me one last time before heading to the back office to stay out of view from the public, as always. Sometimes it felt like he wasn’t actually working, since he left all the public interactions to my coworker and I. Speaking of my coworker, I looked around to see if she was at her usual spot. 

There, just by the young adult section of books, I caught sight of her black curls and soft orange fabric sweater. My coworker was there, putting books on the shelves. She's African American, tall, very pretty, and a never afraid to speak her mind. Despite being barely 2 years older than me, she's quite the motherly figure as well, always knowing what to say and do in every situation. Once I made eye contact with her, she smiled at me and walked towards the front desk. She stopped in front of me. “Hey Tabs, thought you’d never make it. Why were you late?” 

I rolled my eyes, “I was only 10 minutes late, it’s not the end of the world because I came in a few minutes later than usual.”

She raised an eyebrow, “I may have only been working here for 2 weeks, but I can already tell that you aren’t the type to come into work late and have probably only been late once or twice during your time working here. Something is up, and I’d like to know what is.”

I scoffed, “Anita, are you sure you aren’t a psychic? You always act like you know what my life is like, and you’re usually right.” 

Anita let out a lighthearted laugh, “of course I am! Now tell me what’s up?” I didn’t know what to tell her, and wasn’t sure if I should even tell her that Pamela was coming here to check the place out, but then just as I was about to open my mouth to give a reply, Anita's face suddenly appeared in front of mine, our noses almost touching. I gulped and backed away a little on instinct but I noticed Anita staring at my face with a thoughtful expression. Then she came to her conclusion. 

“Tabs, are you wearing… mascara? And lip gloss?!”

I turned a scarlet red and backed away nervously, “What? No! Maybe?” I turned so I was looking away from her. 

“No, wait come back,” Anita walked around the counter towards me and stood in front of me to get another look. Then she began to sniff me. Anita burst out laughing, “you’re wearing a different perfume too! What is happening Tabs? Is this why you were late?” She grabbed a hold of my shoulders waiting for my response.

I gave her a pout and looked away. “Perhaps…” That only encouraged Anita to laugh in disbelief more. 

“This isn’t like you, there has to be a reason why you decided to doll yourself up today,” Anita said. As if on cue, that’s the moment when I heard someone clear their throat from the entrance of the bookstore. Both Anita and I turned in unison to look towards the entrance, and I sucked in a breath of air as I saw Pamela standing there, wearing a red cardigan with white pants and black flats, holding her black purse over her right shoulder and her long blonde waves hanging down over her shoulders. She looked uncomfortable, and I realized Anita still had her hands on my shoulders and our faces were still only inches apart. Out of habit, I giggled loudly like I do when I’m nervous, and pushed Anita away from me, to her displeasure which I ignored. 

“Pamela! You’re here!” I laughed sheepishly. I whisked away from Anita towards Pamela and allowed her to step in. She looked at me with a bright smile and followed me to the front desk. “Anita, this is my friend Pamela. Pamela, this is my coworker Anita.”

Pamela looked at Anita and I heard her gasp. Pamela got close to Anita and touched her sleeve in awe. I saw Anita glance at me in confusion, until Pamela said, “I love your sweater! This color looks great on you!” 

Anita’s face immediately relaxed as she laughed, “Thanks Pamela. You seem to have great taste, you have a whole outfit on, girl.” 

Pamela giggled, “I never pass up an opportunity to dress up, and to me that's everyday!” 

After a few more minutes of talking about fashion and clothes, I chuckled, “Anita, quit stealing my friend away from me.”

Both ladies finally noticed my presence again and Pamela linked her arm with mine, “Tabitha,” she whined, “don’t feel left out! We can all go shopping together!” My face flushed red as I noticed how close I was to Pamela. Anita must have noticed my reaction because she smirked at me while raising her eyebrows. Damn her ability to read me so easily. 

Before I could answer, the sound of the bell to the bookstore entrance went off, and both Anita and I looked to the door and greeted the person who entered. It was a boy, who looked latino and around my age, dressed in a blue and white hawaiian shirt, white shorts, and a head full of black curls with shaved sides. He’s also gay. Don’t ask me how I know. I just know. 

The boy walked over to us, “Hey girls! Do y'all work here?” 

Pamela was the one who answered for us, letting go of our linked arms so she could focus her attention on him, “I don’t, but they do! I’m just here with my friend Tabitha!” She smiled at me, and I swear my stomach did somersaults. 

Anita stepped up to him, smiling politely, “Can we help you with something?”

The boy smiled, “Yeah. My name is Milo, I came here to do an interview with your boss because I heard you guys were hiring here. Is he around?” 

Anita nodded, “I’ll go see if he’s not busy and let him know you’re here. I’ll be back.” Anita walked away, leaving me with Pamela and Milo. Milo walked next to Pamela and gasped. 

“Is this handbag from Kamara?!” he asked. 

“Yes! Do you like it?”

“It’s gorgeous! Kamara has so many beautiful accessories. But that brand is super expensive, you’re lucky to be able to get your hands on it. Take good care of that, girl!” he exclaimed. 

Pamela laughed nervously, “yes, I will, thanks Milo!” I wonder why Pamela looked uncomfortable at his statement. 

Pamela and Milo continued talking about brands, once again leaving me out of the conversation. It's not like I could join in, I didn't know much about fashion. I always wear the same denim jacket over different random shirts, I don't think too much about how I dress. Milo and Pamela seemed to talk as if they'd known each other for a long time, both having the same personality. My hands began to sweat just thinking about how well Milo and Anita clicked with Pamela. What if she ends up liking them more than she likes me? We don't seem to have much in common. She seems like the type of girl who hangs out with the popular girls who are all hot and hook up with guys, why would she want to be with a poor lonely girl like me? Why did she even show up today? 

My thoughts were interrupted when Anita returned and asked Milo to come with her to the boss’s office. Milo gave a quick “bye ladies” before he followed Anita to the back. Pamela and I were finally alone. 

Suddenly I was nervous. I wasn’t nervous before, but I knew I had to say something since I was the one who invited her here. I looked up at her to see that she’s already looking at me with that gentle smile of hers.  _ Say something,  _ I thought. 

“Hi.” Shit. That’s not what I wanted to say. 

Pamela giggled, “hi!,” she greeted back. 

“Let’s look around the bookstore, shall we?” I said as I led her away to the front of the store. I pointed out all the books to her, from the comics to fiction to young adult to scientific. We have all kinds of books here, and Pamela seemed thrilled about everything I was talking about. Eventually I took her back to the lounge. 

“This is the lounge,” I said, taking a seat at the round mint colored table as Pamela sits across from me. “This is where Anita and I usually sit and have lunch or just come when we need a break from everyone.” 

Pamela looked around, “the whole bookstore is so nice, Tabs. And this lounge feels so comfortable and private to just come relax. Do you like working here?”

I nodded, “I’ve worked here for about 2-3 years now. I use to work with this man in his early thirties before he quit to attend a better job. I worked on my own for like a year and a half, until Anita started working here 2 weeks ago. Ever since Anita has been here this job has been much more fun.”

Pamela beamed, “I’m glad to hear that. I’d hate to think that you are unhappy at your job. I’ve never had a job, but it must suck to work somewhere that you don’t enjoy.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. I looked at the time. It was my turn to stand at the front desk, I should probably let Anita go on her break. “Hey Pamela, I should probably get back to work. It’s time for Anita to have her break right now.”

“Of course! I think I’ll head out too. Oh, but before I go,” Pamela turned to face me, her face lit up in excitement, “Tabitha, we should go to the mall sometime during the week! You, me and Anita! Do you think she’ll want to go?” 

The idea of that made me smile. I only met Anita 2 weeks ago so we haven’t had a chance to hang out, but I definitely felt like I could consider her a friend. Aside from that, another chance to spend some time with Pamela also brought me immense joy. 

“I like the sound of that,” I replied, “I’ll talk to her and find out when she isn’t busy. I’ll let you know, love.” 

I saw a hint of red on Pamela’s cheeks and watched her smile grow wide, “Great! Ah, I’m so excited!” We haven’t even planned a day or gotten confirmation yet but she’s already so excited. It warmed my heart to think about that. 

We walked to the front desk. “I’m here to take over, Anita, get onto your break hun.” Anita looked relieved. Just as Pamela was about to announce her departure, Milo waltzes out of the office towards us. 

“Hey girls, guess who's your new coworker?” he said with a proud smirk. All three of us cheered in excitement.

“Welcome to the crew, Milo! It’s only two of us but you know, we’re still a crew,” Anita responded. 

“Yeah, the more help we get the less stressful things are around here,” I replied. Milo gave an understanding look in response. 

“I was told that I’m starting tomorrow, so I’m heading out for now. Bye bye ladies,” Milo said as he confidently walked out of the shop. We gave him good byes in return. 

“I’m going out too, it was so nice to meet you, Anita!” Pamela said in that kind voice of hers. Anita gave her a fond look in return. 

“Of course girl, come visit us soon!” Anita said. Pamela and I made eye contact before she said, “I’ll talk to you later, Tabs.”

I gave her a sweet smile in return, “Enjoy your day, Pamela.” Then she was gone. 

I sat down at the front desk and checked the computer. I was about to start on my work until I realized Anita was still there. “What’s up?” I asked, taking a sip of water from my desk. But deep down I knew what she was about to say, seeing that knowing look on her face. 

“You have feelings for that girl, don’t you?” she said as if it was the most casual thing in the world. I nearly spit out my drink, my eyes growing wide and my face flushing.

“What makes you say that?!” I cried defensively. 

Anita smirked, “you should know better than to question my intuitions and gut feelings. I’m usually right. And I’m correct in my suspicions, aren’t I?” 

I knew. I did know better than to question her, because from the time I’ve known her she’s always been right. I don’t know what it is about this woman that makes her correct all the time, but she wasn’t completely wrong about her statement. “I… may have a tiny blossoming crush on her,” I muttered. 

Anita raised an eyebrow at me and laughed softly. “I know,” she said. I was full on blushing now, my heart rate beating at a rapid pace. Anita gathered her things and began to walk towards the lounge. Before she left, she turned back to look at me and said, “I like her for you. She seems nice. I don’t know if she returns your feelings yet, or if she could, but for the sake of both of us, I hope she does,” Anita gave me the same fond look that she gave Pamela earlier, “I would love to see you two together.” Then she walked away into the lounge, leaving me alone in my flustered state. Damn, I'm fucked.


	6. The Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Milo, watch out-”
> 
> It was too late as Milo collided with the boy, sending both of them stumbling, but thankfully not falling down. Anita, Tabitha and I watched in shock as Milo stumbled with a complete stranger, and waited to see his reaction.
> 
> Milo gathered himself and turned to the stranger, “Oh my god I’m so sorry dude are you-” Milo paused. He watched as the stranger pushed his brown quiff back and recollected himself from the almost fall. Milo stared up at the stranger, who was only a few inches taller than him, seeming to be in a trance.
> 
> The stranger stared back at Milo in confusion, but Tabitha was the one who broke the awkward atmosphere. “Sorry about that, you alright?” she said, apologizing for Milo.
> 
> The guy turned to look at us, noticing us for the first time and rubbed the back of his neck, “yeah, I’m alright.”

Pamela's POV

“Does this bag make me look boujee?” Milo asked as he flaunted his small brown bag with a line of small sequences on it. He was striking poses in the middle of the mall where we were walking, not caring that people were staring or trying to pass, seeming very proud and confident with his new accessory. I was walking next to Milo, while Anita and Tabitha walked behind us. They watched him move about and gave him praises on the bag.

“That confidence that you carry makes you look even better wearing it,” I told him. “That’s the key to making yourself appear more attractive!”

“You are absolutely right, girl. I’m surprised a boy hasn’t walked up to me and carried me away yet,” he replied with dreamy eyes. I looked at Anita and Tabitha and we all burst out into laughter. Milo joined us soon after.

“Thanks for inviting me to hang out guys, I had fun today. I just moved here a couple of months ago so I haven’t really had time to settle down and go out with friends, ya know?” Milo said, turning to talk to us as he walked backwards, without bumping into anyone by some miracle.

“Of course,” Anita said, “it was Pamela’s idea anyway.”

I turned to Anita and grinned, “I just thought it would be nice for all of us to get to know each other, since I’m Tabitha’s friend, and you’re her friend too. Also Milo is going to be working with you guys so, this is a nice moment for us to bond!”

“I thought this was a lovely idea,” Tabitha said, smiling at me. Then she looked to everyone else and held her stomach. “Is anyone else hungry? Do you all wanna go to the food court and have something to eat?”

“ _Ay por fin_! Girl I thought you’d never ask!” Milo said and he began to skip towards the food court. “I could eat a whole ass cow right now.”

“Yeah, I suppose it’s almost lunch time,” I said as we all followed Milo to the food court.

We walked about a few feet before Milo once again turned around to face us and was telling us about what he was craving to eat as he walked backwards. I swear he had some kind of magical senses where he somehow knew how to avoid everyone without looking.

I spoke too soon as I noticed a boy standing in the middle of the walkway, looking up at an empty store in front of him. Milo was walking straight towards him, and didn’t seem like he intended to move.

“Milo, watch out-”

It was too late as Milo collided with the boy, sending both of them stumbling, but thankfully not falling down. Anita, Tabitha and I watched in shock as Milo stumbled with a complete stranger, and waited to see his reaction.

Milo gathered himself and turned to the stranger, “Oh my god I’m so sorry dude are you-” Milo paused. He watched as the stranger pushed his brown quiff back and recollected himself from the almost fall. Milo stared up at the stranger, who was only a few inches taller than him, seeming to be in a trance.

The stranger stared back at Milo in confusion, but Tabitha was the one who broke the awkward atmosphere. “Sorry about that, you alright?” she said, apologizing for Milo.

The boy turned to look at us, noticing us for the first time and rubbed the back of his neck, “yeah, I’m alright.”

Milo finally broke out of his trance and faced the boy once again with a smirk. “Sorry about that, did it hurt?”

The boy rubbed his arm where Milo bumped into him and shook his head, “Nah dude, don’t worry about it, it was just a bump.”

“No not that,” Milo said, his smirk growing wider as he raised an eyebrow, “did it hurt… when you fell from heaven?”

Anita and I gasped and looked at Milo, mouth wide open. Tabitha and the stranger laughed loudly. “Not gonna lie bro, that was pretty good. I’m flattered.” The boy said with a gentle smile. I was still in shock.

“Milo, you’re so bold!” I told him.

Milo turned away from him and back to us, chuckling. “You gotta do what you gotta do.”

“By the way,” Anita said, changing the subject, “I hope this doesn’t come off as rude, but what were you doing standing in the middle of the walkway?” Anita said, voice giving off attitude despite herself. 

The boy (we should probably ask him his name) let out a deep sigh before responding, “I came here to visit this bookstore,” he pointed to the empty store, “only to see that it was removed. I didn’t even know it was going to close down, it’s been about 3 weeks since I last came here and I use to come like, every week.”

Immediately I noticed Tabitha and Anita look at each other, their eyes lighting up in joy. “You should know,” Anita began, “the three of us”, Anita pointed to Milo, Tabitha and herself, “all work at a bookstore downtown called Dusty Reads. Have you heard of it?”

The boy shook his head, “Not at all. I should probably check it out sometime.” He suddenly seemed interested in us, which made me feel happy. I was just about to ask him his name, but Tabitha beat me to it.

“Well, I’m Tabitha, this is Anita, my coworker,” Anita gave a small nod and smile, “and this is Milo, who recently got hired.” Milo ginned up at him.

“A bonus of coming to Dusty Reads is you’ll get to see my face everyday,” Milo winked at him, “and I’ll get to see yours.”

The boy laughed nervously and all of us burst into laughter. Milo really was something else.

Tabitha turned to look at me, and I returned her look. She smiled warmly, “and this is my friend, Pamela. She has the biggest heart and is probably thinking about making you her friend.”

I burst into giggles at her comment and waved at the boy with a quick “hello!”

He gave me a small wave back, then said, “you guys seem like a pretty nice bunch. I’m Jack, Jack Doyle. It’s cool to meet you guys.”

Milo put an arm around his shoulder. “Well Jack, we were all about to head down to the food court to have some lunch. Why don’t you join us and we’ll tell you more about the bookstore that you’re absolutely going to come to everyday just to see me!” Milo said with a toothy grin.

“Yeah! Tabs wasn’t wrong when she said I was going to make you my friend!” I exclaimed.  

Jack chuckled, “sure, I don’t have anything else to do.” So the 5 of us began walking to the food court, and Milo began talking Jack’s ear off about the bookstore, with Tabitha joining in every while to either correct him about some of his information or to provide some of her own.

Eventually when we got to the food court, we decided to buy a large pizza for all of us to share. It was half Hawaiian, half pepperoni. The Hawaiian belonged to Milo and I, while the other 3 had the pepperoni pizza.

“Are you from Hawaii, Milo?” I asked him, my eyes sparkling with curiosity.

Milo looked confused, “What makes you say that?” he asking, already halfway through his pizza before any of us could take a bite.

“You seem to love Hawaiian pizza,” I observed, “and every time I see you, you’re wearing a Hawaiian or floral shirt.”

Milo guffawed, “I’ve never been to Hawaii. Pizza is pizza, and I just wear these shirts because it’s gay fashion.”

Tabitha chuckled and took a sip of her water. Milo looked over at her and smirked, “she gets me. There’s only so much we can do to show off the fact that we’re gay, and I don’t have to try too hard to do that,” he claimed, picking at his black painted nails.

One thing from what Milo said stood out to me, and I nearly choked on my water, “Wait…” I looked at Tabitha and I saw her shrink away. “Tabs, you’re gay too?” I exclaimed, sounding a little too surprised.

Tabitha looked away from me and into her drink, “Uh, yeah I am…” she confessed softly. I saw the look on her face go from laughing a few moments ago to now looking ashamed. Milo, Anita, and Jack went silent as they watched us awkwardly. None of them seemed phased by the fact that Tabitha is gay, but seemed uncomfortable with my reaction.  I realized then how I sounded. I nearly cried.

“I-I,” I stuttered, “I’m sorry! I was just surprised, I didn’t mean anything bad about my reaction,” I panicked. I took Tabitha’s hand and she finally looked at me. I took a deep breath, “I’m not straight either, I’m bisexual. Sorry Tabs, I just realized how my reaction sounded.” It was my turn to feel ashamed. I tend to speak and act without thinking, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt Tabitha’s feelings on accident. I hope that never happens.

I don’t know what I was expecting from everyone at the table, but them staring at me with wide eyes was not it. I looked back, suddenly feeling insecure. “What?” I asked, my head cocking to the side in confusion.

Milo was the one to respond, “You?! I expected it from Tabitha, but not you! I guess I have good gaydar but terrible bi-dar.” I saw everyone at the table nod. I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I just shrugged.

Tabitha squeezed our joined hands and I looked at her. She smiled, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. I guess, we have something in common,” Tabitha’s eyes wandered off as a blush appeared on her face. I think I also felt my face heat up, but slowly we smiled and let go of our hands.

“Sooo, is anyone else gay?” Milo asked, setting his elbows down on the table and resting his head on his hands. He was looking up at Jack with expectant eyes.

Anita shook her head no and gave an apologetic frown, while Jack let out a surprised laugh as he noticed the look Milo was giving him. “No, sorry dude,” he replied as he awkwardly took a sip of water. Milo pouted, but didn’t seem too heartbroken about it. Either he was just that secure about himself or he was used to rejection. Might have been both. But seeing the way they continued to casually talk like friends, Milo maintaining eye contact and nodding along to Jack talking about himself, I had a feeling Milo wasn’t giving up that easily.

At this point, we all kinda stopped talking as a group and were just talking to each other. Anita, Jack, and Milo were having an ecstatic conversation about a TV show. I felt Tabitha poke the side of my ribs to get my attention, and I turned to face her who was on my left side.

Her hazel eyes gazed into mine with a look of fondness that made me feel safe. She leaned in towards me and said, “Are you having fun today?” She spoke in a soft tone, as if she only wanted me to hear her.

I returned her tone of voice and replied, “Of course! Today was a really nice day, coming out here with everyone…” My voice trailed off, as I took a moment to realize that this is the first time in a while that I’ve had fun hanging out with peers. Although I was use to being left out from groups I’ve hung out with, it didn’t mean it hurt any less. My mind trailed back to what happened that night when I met Tabitha, and how scared and worthless I felt. Reflecting on how today went, and how included I felt by everyone at this table made me feel warm, and safe.

I don’t know if it’s because I felt happy, or if it’s from the flashbacks I got about that night, but as I was looking down at my lap I felt the familiar sting behind my eyes. I swallowed down the feeling and took a deep breath; no tears were going to be present today. My thoughts were interrupted by Tabitha, calling out my name softly. I looked to her again, and this time, I could feel her eyes looking into my soul, as if she knew every single thought I had just now.

“Hey… I know we can’t tell the future or anything, and we all just met, but I have a feeling we’ll be hanging out with these guys more often,” she gave me a reassuring smile, “it’ll be okay.”

I studied her face for a while, and finally accepted what she told me. I looked at her and nodded. “Okay,” I responded, and let myself believe her words. “Okay,” I repeated, this time to myself. Tabitha nodded back in response.

I felt grateful for her making me feel better once again, just like she did that night. Aside from my caretaker Nitty, no one has ever actually helped me feel better after my thoughts spiral out of control. Tabitha really was a special friend. A friend whom I just met a little over a week ago, and I definitely wanted to get to know better.

I then realized that Tabitha and I haven’t been alone together since that night. Every time we saw each other, which was usually at Dusty Reads, we weren’t alone because Anita or Milo would be there too. I knew I wanted to hang out with her, just the two of us alone, so I decided to drop the invitation.

“Hey Tabitha,” I said. She looked up at me to indicate she was listening. I began to fidget with my fingers as I explained, “Well, I was just thinking about how, ever since that night, we haven’t really been alone… just the two of us. A-and I’d like to get to know you more, since we’re friends, so... I was wondering… do you maybe wanna come to my house tomorrow? To just hang out?”

As I finished asking the question, I finally looked back up at Tabitha’s face only to find her grinning. Before I could ask what was up, she responded, “Of course! I’d love to spend more time with you too.” For some reason, I felt myself become flustered after explaining so much just to ask her to come to my house. Oh boy.

After a while more of just talking at the table, Jack was the first to say goodbye. But before that, he revealed something to us.

Jack looked down at the text message on his phone and then put it in his pocket. He began to gather his things. “Alright guys, this is where I depart. My moms are here to pick me up.”

“Alright… wait. Your moms?” Anita said, voicing what we were all thinking.

“Do you have gay moms?!” Milo exclaimed, jumping in his seat with excitement.

Jack nodded, “Yeah, I do. They’re the best moms I could ever ask for,” he said with a fond look.

“Wow, that’s so cool! Imagine having double the mom,” I said. I obviously don’t remember much about what it was like to have a mom, but I’ve always wanted a mom more than anything.

Jack chuckled at my comment, then began to stand up. “Alright, this is actual good bye now. But I’ll see you guys at Dusty Reads soon.” He winked, then began to walk off as we shouted our goodbyes at him. Not long after Jack left, Anita’s ride came to pick her up, and soon Nitty had arrived to pick me up as well. I offered to drive Milo and Tabs home, but they both decided to take an Uber together since they didn’t live too far from one another. I was okay knowing they were leaving together, so I got into Nitty’s car and we drove off, leaving me alone to think about how I was going to prepare for Tabitha to come over tomorrow.


	7. To be loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...Are you upset with me?” I asked, unintentionally sounding sad because Pamela’s eyes went from looking upset to looking shocked.
> 
> “No, of course not,” she said, “I’m just concerned. I want you to feel comfortable in my house because I want you to come over often. I want to get to know you because I want us to be close friends, Tabitha. I’m sensing you feel distressed, and I want to know why so I can help.”
> 
> I wasn’t expecting that response, and I wished it wasn’t obvious how much I was blushing. Her saying that doesn’t help the fact that I’m here alone with the girl I have a crush on and nowhere to escape to. 
> 
> Anyway, I suppose I owe her an explanation. She’s opened up to me about herself, maybe tonight it’s my turn.

Tabitha's POV

I hopped off the bus, hoping this was the right stop. It should be, according to the directions Pamela gave me, but I couldn't be too sure, since this is a neighborhood completely different from my own. The pavement is intact, the trees are green and alive. I'm greeted with the scent of fresh cut grass as I walk through this neighborhood that everyone wishes they had. All of the houses here are big and clean, standing tall with a backyard the size of my house. I feel like me being here is a disgrace to the neighborhood with how rich it is. 

I look down at my phone. According to Google Maps, Pamela’s house was straight ahead, a few more houses down. My palms began to sweat and my throat felt dry as I got closer and closer to the destination. I don’t know if I’m ready for this. All of these houses are nice, and I know seeing it is definitely going to be a strange feeling. Not something I’m use to.  

I didn't even have to look down at my phone to know which house was Pamela's, because I saw her sitting down on her front steps, on her phone. As I appeared, she looked up from her phone and her whole face lit up as she began walking down her stairs towards me. 

“Tabitha! I’m so happy you made it!” she exclaimed. “I hope you got here alright.”

“Y-yeah I did, it was no problem,” I chuckled. I probably sounded so nervous, how embarrassing. 

Pamela either didn’t seem to notice or chose not to comment on my stuttering, because she held my hand and said, “Come on then, lets make our way inside.” I felt my heart race and my face flush as we walked up her steps into her home. She’s holding my hand, and my hands are probably sweaty. God I’m so gross and she’s so pretty.

Entering her house was what I expected, but also what I didn’t  _ want _ to see. She had shiny clean floors, a large couch with a huge television displaying clear high quality colors and images, as well as a large kitchen with big, beautiful stairs leading to the 2nd floor. 

Pamela finally let go of my hand when two older women wearing matching dresses and aprons came towards us, one carrying a tray of pastries and another carrying a tray with two glasses of what looked to be fruit punch. 

“Alice, Eleanor, this is my friend Tabitha! Tabs, these are my caretakers, Alice and Eleanor. They help around the house and have taken care of me since I was really young.” The women gave me a warm smile and I returned it. One of them, Eleanor, handed Pamela and I the two drinks. 

“Drink up dears, make sure you stay hydrated now.” Pamela and I took the drinks from her hands and we took a sip. 

“It’s very good, thank you,” I said. 

Pamela nodded, “Thank you, Eleanor, we appreciate it.”

Alice stepped forward with the tray of pastries, “Here you go, girls, take these with you.”

Pamela handed me her drink to hold as she took the tray in her hands. We both gave the women our thanks, and watched them walk back into the kitchen. 

I took a moment to look around one more time at her home, seeing how clean and how  _ big  _ it is. It had a fresh smell of scented cinnamon candles, and felt very homey. Something I never had and always dreamed of. 

I knew this was the type of home I was going to be walking into from the moment I knew Pamela comes from a wealthy family, but I wasn’t prepared to face the culture shock. I wasn’t prepared to come into this home and feel so out of place, and see Pamela with  _ actual _ caretakers who give her food and everything she needs.

I didn’t realize Pamela was calling out my name until she said my name for the third time, and I looked up very suddenly, feeling bad for ignoring her. I saw a hint of worry on her face before she quickly replaced it with a smile, and if I didn’t see anything. “We should head upstairs. I want to show you my bedroom! Come on.” I followed her up the shiny wooden stairs. 

On the 2nd floor, there were loads of doors which I assumed were bedrooms, some probably being used as other types of rooms. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has a movie room somewhere. At the end of the hall, there were another smaller set of stairs. Great, she has a 3rd floor too. Can this house be any more perfect?

I followed Pamela into one of the doors on the right side of the hall, which led to her bedroom. Her bedroom was a soft creme color, and her bedsheets were baby blue with matching pillow cases on a large queen bed. She had a small desk, a dresser, and what I assume is the door to her closet. She had a few chairs and some lights hanging around her room. Her room looked like it came straight out of a tumblr aesthetic. 

“Make yourself comfortable,” Pamela said, putting the tray of pastries down on her bed and moving to close her door, “you can take off your shoes if you’d like.” She went to remove her shoes and sat on her bed with her legs crossed. I put the drinks I was holding on her bedside table, and took off my shoes, sitting across from her at the foot of her bed, the tray of pastries sitting in between us. We both grabbed some cookies from the tray. I wasn’t surprised to find that the cookies were amazing. The drinks tasted good as well. Pamela’s caretakers must be very talented. She’s lucky she has good food surrounding her all day. 

I realized I’ve been avoiding eye contact with Pamela this whole time, and there’s an awkward silence between us. I decided to look up at her, only to find her already observing me. She had that same look of worry from earlier, only this time she didn’t hide it with a smile. 

“Tabitha,” Pamela spoke. Her voice sent chills down my spine with how serious she sounded, “are you alright?”

I froze. I didn’t know what to say. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Pamela never stopped looking at me, “Ever since you got here, you seem very hesitant. A bit nervous if I may add. It looks like everything is making you uncomfortable…” She trailed off. Suddenly I felt bad. I didn’t want to give off a bad vibe and have Pamela never trust me again. 

“...Are you upset with me?” I asked, unintentionally sounding sad because Pamela’s eyes went from looking upset to looking shocked.

“No, of course not,” she said, “I’m just concerned. I want you to feel comfortable in my house because I want you to come over often. I want to get to know you because I want us to be close friends, Tabitha. I’m sensing you feel distressed, and I want to know why so I can help.”

I wasn’t expecting that response, and I wished it wasn’t obvious how much I was blushing. Her saying that doesn’t help the fact that I’m here alone with the girl I have a crush on and nowhere to escape to. 

Anyway, I suppose I owe her an explanation. She’s opened up to me about herself, maybe tonight it’s my turn. 

“I’m sorry if I gave off a negative energy,” I said, and I could tell Pamela was about to attempt to reassure me, but I cut her off before she could cut me off, “But, you were right. I do feel a bit… uncomfortable. Or for use of a better word, out of place.”

Pamela’s little pout didn’t make this any easier. “Why, Tabitha? Please tell me why.” Her puppy dog eyes weren’t making this any easier either. Damn it, Pamela. 

I took a shuddering breath. “Pamela,” I began, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, or caught on at this point…” I swallowed my nerves, “but my lifestyle is very different from yours. I don’t live in a big house like yours, or a beautiful neighbourhood or have people to care for me.” 

It was getting harder to speak, but Pamela’s eyes were encouraging me to speak so I went on, “I’m basically poor. I live with my aunt Mel, and its just the two of us in our one bedroom apartment, which isn’t even an apartment, it’s a basement that we rent. She sleeps in the bedroom with a small bed, and I don’t have a room. I sleep in the largest closet we have. Pamela, I don’t even have a bed.” My voice broke on that last word, but I refused to cry here. This isn’t the time for that. 

I swallowed once again and continued, “My parents died when I was a child back in London. I was taken in by my grandmother, a very sweet woman who made a big impact in my life. I remember her more than my actual parents. She died when I was 12, and at that age I had no choice but to either be put into the foster care system, or move to the US with my aunt. As my grandmother’s dying wish, she asked my aunt to take me in. My aunt accepted, but the only thing she provides me with is a roof to sleep under.”

I saw Pamela go from looking sad to confused. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged,”My aunt works, sure, but she gets paid minimum wage, and barely goes to work. The person she works for is an old friend so that’s why she hasn’t been fired yet. I basically provide for her and myself because she doesn’t buy groceries, she doesn’t cook, she barely cleans, and she’s almost never home. When she is home, she usually brings some male over and spends the night with him.”

Pamela’s eyes shifted down to her lap, frowning. I knew this was a lot for her to take in, since she’s lived her life with everything handed to her. She probably can’t even imagine living the way I do. Her nightmare would be my reality. 

“My aunt and I don’t get along, obviously,” I said, looking down into my lap as well, “we’re constantly getting into fights. I don’t like fighting with her, or with anyone in general, but we really don’t get along, which is why I sometimes either go for a walk, go to the coffee shop or just work extra hours at Dusty Reads. Being at home is hell.”

I looked back up at Pamela and smiled softly, “But, I’m turning 18 soon. And I already decided that when I turn 18, I’m going to start looking for an apartment to rent on my own. I’ve basically raised myself since I was 12, so I think I can live on my own. And sleep in an actual room with an actual bed,” I chuckled lightheartedly. However, Pamela didn’t smile back. Her eyes were glossy, and she raised her eyes to my own.

“Tabitha… I’m sorry.” she said. She shook her head, “I understand why you feel uneasy being here.” There was a short pause between us. But Pamela took a deep breath and continued to speak. “This… lifestyle that I have. Most people would imagine that I’m living this big luxurious life. But it’s not like that at all…”

I won’t lie, I was quite shocked to hear that. And I’m definitely curious to know why. Thankfully I didn’t have to ask because Pamela began to explain.

“My mom died of cancer when I was 5. I have very vague memories of her, but sometimes I don’t know if they’re memories or if my brain is just filling the spots that I remember with the woman I’ve seen in pictures. The only family I have with me is my dad. But my dad has been a busy man for as long as I can remember.” 

I nodded, encouraging her to continue on. “I don’t spend a lot of time with my dad. The time we spend together is very rare. We spend some holidays together, but there have been holidays that I’ve had to spend alone…” 

My heart dropped hearing that. It seems we aren’t that different after all. Suddenly I wonder how many holidays we’ve both spent alone at the same time, probably sitting in our rooms alone crying at the same time. A depressing, but very real thought. 

“My caretakers have been there for me sometimes, but ultimately, they have their own families that will always come first. I know that deep down, they only care about their own families, and do this job well because they’re getting paid by the mayor. The one I’ve felt closest to is Nitty, but even though she’s offered to let me come home with her when I’m alone, I know she’s only doing that out of the kindness of her heart. She has her family and I… have mine, I guess.” 

There was another quite pause for both of us to process everything. The cookies and drinks sat in their respective spots, appetites long forgotten by our very blue talk. Pamela and I made silent eye contact for a short moment before we both broke into soft but sad smiles. “It’s like… we both want the same thing,” I stated. 

Pamela nodded, “We both live different lifestyles, filled with loneliness and yearning. And that yearning is-”

“-to be loved,” we finished in unison. Pamela and I both went wide eyed, not expecting to say it at the same time, but nonetheless giggled at our confession. 

After a moment of comfortable silence, Pamela spoke up, her voice filling the quiet room, “Tabitha… I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable in my home. I also don’t want you to feel like you don’t belong, because you do, and I want to be with you-- a-as your friend! Yeah… so, I like you regardless of your financial status, or anything like that. And if you feel comfortable, I’d like to visit your home too…”

I hesitated a bit at that, and Pamela must have noticed because she continued, “If you don’t want to, I understand, but I want to prove to you that your lifestyle and financial status doesn’t make a difference to me, and that I won’t treat you any different because of it. I fully support everything you want to do, and I’m really excited for you to find a new place to live!”

My face broke into a real smile, “I’m really excited to find a new place too,” I exclaimed. The heavy tension broke and we both laughed, releasing any negative feeling still within. “Thanks, Pamela. I’ll think about it…”

Pamela nodded, “of course! There’s no rush. For now, let’s watch a movie and fill up with these snacks, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I replied. We didn’t take long choosing a movie, opting to choose a lighthearted disney movie, which ended up being Frozen. We sat next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, on her bed against the wall watching the movie from her expensive TV. 

Towards the end of the movie, I felt my eyes getting drowsy, and beginning to close on their own accord. I didn’t notice when my head began to lean over, and I didn’t have conscious control over it, so I ended up laying my head on Pamela’s shoulder for the remaining 15 minutes of the movie. 

I probably drifted into a light sleep for about 5 minutes, until the movie finally ended and the credits rolled up. As I laid my head on Pamela’s left shoulder, I felt her hand snake it’s way under my head to reach over and stroke my hair on the left side. Her hand basically cradled my head. 

“Hey… are you sleepy?” she said in the softest, sweetest voice and I felt my heart rate increase, instantly waking up. I didn’t mean to raise my head so suddenly, because when I looked at her she looked startled by how fast I jolted. “S-sorry if I-”

“No, no, sorry I fell asleep.” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling my face heat up. I glanced out the window and noticed it was already dark outside. It was 9pm according to the digital clock next to her bed, and I realized I should probably head home. 

“It’s really late, Pamela, I think I should start heading out,” I said, picking up the tray and drinks and setting them to the side. 

I saw Pamela frown, “Tabs, it’s really dark out. I can’t let you go home like this. I-if you want… you can stay over. We have plenty of guest rooms here,” Pamela stuttered, her cheeks turning pink. She’s too cute. 

I blushed as well. I don’t know if I’m ready to stay over at her house, since the thought of that was making me nervous already. Ultimately, its best I should go home for now. 

“That’s very thoughtful, Pamela, but I think I should go home. I do have work tomorrow all day unfortunately,” I said. Pamela nodded in understanding, which I was grateful for. I didn’t want her to feel offended, but thankfully she understood. 

“Alright, but I’m asking Nitty to drive you home. I can’t sit still knowing that you’ll be out there on your own at night, where you could get hurt,” Pamela said with that little pout of hers. 

I couldn’t help it but laugh seeing her look like that. “I’m a big girl, I spend lots of nights out by myself,” I grinned, “but alright, I accept your act of kindness.” 

Pamela gave a sharp exaggerated nod, “Good! If you declined, I was going to keep you hostage locked here in my house.” I snorted loudly, shaking my head at Pamela. We both cleaned up and made our way downstairs, where Nitty was already waiting for us by the back door where all of the family’s cars were. 

Nitty was a short woman with full cheeks, pale skin and blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun. She wore a bright smile on her face, despite it being 9 pm and Pamela and I basically looked like we were ready to knock out. 

Pamela and I faced each other to say our goodbyes. “Thank you so much for coming, Tabs. I really appreciate you spending time with me, and I had a lot of fun with you. Even if we did get a bit angsty.” 

I laughed out loud, “It’s alright, I just enjoyed being here with you. You’re coming to Dusty Reads tomorrow, right?” 

Pamela nodded, “I’ll see you again tomorrow. I’ll stop by in the afternoon.” Pamela and I gave a quick hug, before finally saying goodbye and separating. 

I gave Nitty my address and I sat in the back seat, looking out the window as she drove me through the chilly night. It was awkwardly silent, but as we started to get closer to my home, Nitty began to speak.

“You know, Tabitha…” I looked up at the sound of my name. Nitty was looking at me through the rear view mirror. “I know Pamela very well. Probably better than she thinks I do. And from all the friends she’s had over, I have never seen her look so comfortable and happy than I have seen her with you.” Nitty gave a small giggle, and smiled warmly at me through the mirror. I was not expecting to hear that, so I didn’t know what to say. I stared back at her, my mouth opening and closing, wanting to speak but having no words. 

Nitty looked like she understood, so she continued to speak, “all I wanted was to say thank you for being a good friend to Pamela. She’s never had many good friends before, but she’s a wonderful girl after you look past her old character and focus on who she’s become.”

I smiled back at Nitty. “Of course. I think we’re really good friends.” Nitty seemed content with that answer, and within a couple minutes we arrived at my house. I thanked Nitty for the ride, and made my way inside my house, my mind filled with nothing but thoughts of this girl who drives me crazy. 


	8. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listen. I don’t know what that night when Tabitha came to visit did to me. My plan was to bring Tabitha to my house so we could have time to talk and get to know each other, then maybe watch a movie and eat some snacks. And yes, that is what happened.
> 
> But I wasn’t expecting for me to feel flustered every time I saw her afterwards!
> 
> It’s not in a bad way. Quite the opposite, actually. After Tabitha and I got to talk and be more vulnerable with each other, I realized how different and how similar we were. I saw a new side to her after hearing her story, and have a newfound respect for her. I think I like her even more than I did before now. So technically, our little get together served its purpose…
> 
> But maybe a little more than it should have.

Pamela's POV

I walked into the bookstore lounge area to find Milo sitting at our usual table, sipping on his ice tea from Warbucks. He looked up at me and waved frantically, “Pamela! I haven’t seen you in forever, girl.” 

I waved back at him, “Yeah! It’s been like what, a week now since we went to the mall. We should all get together again soon, that was really fun!” I took a seat at Milo’s left side. 

He took a final sip from his now empty drink before speaking, “Yeah! You haven’t really been here that often this week, even Jack has been here more than you. Speaking of Jack, he said he’s coming to see us today so stick around and the 5 of us will be together once again!”

“Oh my god that’s so exciting!” I exclaimed. “Gang meet up part 2!” 

“Gang meet up part 2!!” Milo cheered, both of us high fiving each other in glee. 

“God, we are  _ not  _ calling ourselves a gang,” said a voice from behind us. Milo and I turned around to find Tabitha coming out of her boss’ office. I felt my heart begin to race. 

“Hey Tabitha, come join the gang table.” Milo said, waving her over. “Or should I say, the gay table.” Milo cackled, and Tabitha rolled her eyes, smiling along nonetheless. 

“Hey Pamela,” she greeted, sitting next to me at the round table. The fact that she chose to sit to my left rather than Milo’s right made my face feel warm. Gosh.

I swallowed and forced a smile onto my face, “Hi, Tabitha! How’s it going?” 

“Pretty good. The boss just told me to go on my break. Anita’s also going on her break right now so she’ll join us in a moment.”

Milo cocked his head to the side, confused, “Wait, if we’re all on break then who’s standing at the front?”

“Boss man is. He said since today is a slow Tuesday, he’ll stand at the front and let us have a break at the same time…” 

Milo scoffed, “But where is he when we’re overloaded with customers,  _ de veras _ .”

“Exactly! Oh, you have no idea what I’ve been through before Anita started working here and it was just me.” So Tabitha began to tell Milo about rude customers and long lines. Meanwhile, I couldn’t stop staring at Tabitha’s face as she spoke…

Listen. I don’t know what that night when Tabitha came to visit did to me. My plan was to bring Tabitha to my house so we could have time to talk and get to know each other, then maybe watch a movie and eat some snacks. And yes, that is what happened.

But I wasn’t expecting for me to feel flustered every time I saw her afterwards!

It’s not in a bad way. Quite the opposite, actually. After Tabitha and I got to talk and be more vulnerable with each other, I realized how different and how similar we were. I saw a new side to her after hearing her story, and have a newfound respect for her. I think I like her even more than I did before now. So technically, our little get together served its purpose…

But maybe a little more than it should have. 

Every time I see Tabitha now, I feel my heart race and my face flush. I’ve always thought Tabitha was really pretty, from the moment I first saw her. That day, when she found me alone at the park at night and scared the creepy man away, she stood there, looking like my knight in shining armour, and I had never seen anyone so… charming. 

The time when she came over to my house, I got to sit down in front of her and talk, one on one, and actually observe her face. I watched her speak, her bright hazel eyes looking into my brown ones, talking with her soft looking, pink lips, her head of short brown, messy waves put together nicely. 

When she began to fall asleep during the movie, I felt her unknowingly lay her head on my shoulder. That’s the first time I felt it. That flustered feeling. Her head on my shoulder felt nice, and I felt like I wanted to do more. I wanted to wrap my arm around her. I wanted to hold her, and protect her. Protect her... like she protected me. 

I then realized that I was still staring at Tabitha as she talked to Milo, and had to force myself to look away. Just when they finished talking, I see Anita and Jack walk in.

“Hey y’all, look who I found,” Anita said as she walked in with Jack following behind. He was holding a pile of books in his hand and waved using his free hand.

“Hi guys, what’s up?” He said, coming to sit at Milo’s right side while Anita sat to Tabitha’s left, completing the circle at our circle table. 

“Tabitha was just shit talking the boss man, you didn’t miss much.” 

“Milo, you should probably lower your voice or you’ll get us both fired,” Tabitha deadpanned, with a hint of annoyance in her voice. Milo giggled an apology, and Jack shook his head. 

“Yeah bud, and you just started working here not long ago,” Jack said, punching Milo’s arm lightly. 

Milo sighed, “Yup! It’s been about two weeks now.”

“And he’s getting his first paycheck at the end of the week,” Anita stated, raising an eyebrow.  __

Milo slammed his hands down on the table, “Oh yeah! I forgot about that! Best part of having a job, baby,” he whooped. 

“What do you plan to do with your first check?” Tabitha asked. 

Milo hummed in thought. We all looked at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. It took him a moment before he finally replied, “Probably clothes.”

Anita scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, “As if you don’t already own enough.”

“Yeah dude, you own the same shirt in like 15 different styles,” Jack retorted with a smirk. 

Milo returned the smirk, “Oh look who’s talking! You only wear baggy army pants, we need to find  _ you  _ a new style.”

“Enlighten me, like what?”

Milo reached down and pulled on Jack’s baggy pant leg, “For one, you’d look dashing in a pair of skinny jeans. It’ll really bring out those strong thighs, don’t y’all think?” Milo asked the group. 

Tabitha shrugged, and Anita commented, “I think the pants he’s wearing look just fine.”

Jack raised a hand to speak, “Ah, I also wear my baggy pants as a way to comfortably move around with my prosthetic leg.” 

Milo squinted his eyes at Jack suspiciously, “Are you saying you are using the baggy pants to cover your prosthetic up? Jack, don’t do yourself like that, embrace it!” 

Jack shook his head frantically, “No, of course not! I definitely embrace it, it’s just that I feel like wearing skinny pants would be a little tight and uncomfortable.”

“Well then, maybe you should just wear nothing at all in that area.”

Tabitha choked into a giggling fit, and Anita looked appalled. Even I started to chuckle a bit. Jack, however, was a blushing mess.

“Boy, do you have any idea what you just said!” Anita scolded. 

The realization of what he said hit Milo all of a sudden and he became the same shade of red as the shirt he was wearing. He slammed his hands on the table and shrieked, loudly. 

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT,” Milo shouted over everyone laughing. Milo glanced at Jack and both of their faces grew darker, “Dude, I just meant you should wear like shorts or something!” Milo cupped his face in his hands, “I’m sorry,” he said, which came out sounding muffled. 

“Wow, guess the great Milo does have moments of shame and embarrassment,” Tabitha said amused.

Milo peeked through his hands and glared at Tabitha, mouthing a “shut up”. 

Jack waved his arm dismissively, “Oh don’t worry about it, I completely get it. It happens to all of us. I’ll definitely take that advice, Milo… about the shorts, I mean.” 

Milo groaned in embarrassment again, much to the amusement of everyone else. 

I saw Anita sigh, then turn to look at me. “Anyway, I bet Pamela’s got some great fashion advice as well.”

Milo, ever so thankful for the diverted attention from him, turned his whole attention towards me as well, “YES. Yes, Pamela, tell us what you think Jack should wear!” 

I wasn’t prepared to be called out at the moment. I’ve been so quiet at the table so I felt weird speaking up with everyone’s eyes on me. 

“Well, I think Jack has his own style and it shouldn’t be changed much. People should dress with what makes them comfortable and confident, and I think Jack looks fine with the style he has.” 

Everyone was quiet for a second, and then everyone broke out into “aww”s.

“Pamela you’re too sweet,” Anita cooed. 

“Yeah, you’re making me look like an asshole now for wanting to change someone’s style!” Milo retorted.

“Guess the army pants are staying then,” Jack said, stretching his arms in victory. 

Milo whipped his head around faster than I could blink, “Now hold on a sec-” 

At this point, Milo and Jack began to bicker, while Anita and Tabitha would pipe in with comments once in a while. I didn’t realize I grew quiet again until this time, Tabitha called out my name softly.

I turned to my left and we made eye contact. “Are you feeling alright? You’re really quiet today…” 

Tabitha’s worried eyes made me feel bad about being so quiet this whole time. I couldn’t tell her that I’ve been quiet because I was thinking about the fact that she makes my heart race and she makes me blush and when everytime she asks me if I’m okay she makes me want to-

Oh.  _ Oh.  _ Oh wow. 

“Sorry Tabs, I’m okay… I’ll be fine.” I didn’t know what to say. I was able to give her a soft smile anyway. She didn’t look convinced, but her frown softened and she nodded. I knew she probably could tell that I didn’t want to be further interrogated.

“Alright, it’s my turn to stand at the front desk, best position in this job, am I right?” Tabitha stood up, her tone full of sarcasm. 

Milo and Anita agreed, fully returning the sarcasm. 

“I’ll go check my books out with you, Tabitha,” Jack said, getting up as well and following Tabitha out the lounge. 

Now, it was just Milo, Anita, and I alone in the lounge. My brain was hurting too much and I was ready to explode. 

There was an awkward silence, which Anita decided to break by once again, interrogating me.

“Pamela, are you okay?”

“Yeah, you’re awfully quiet,” Milo decided to chip in. 

Both of them were staring at me intensely, eyes full of concern and confusion. All of this unwanted attention was making me feel overwhelmed. 

I wanted to say I was fine, I really did. But what came out instead was, “I think I have a crush on Tabitha.”

I saw both Milo and Anita’s eyes grow wide. I clamped a hand over my mouth, upset over the fact that I just said this out loud without stopping myself. However, now that the cat was out of the bag, I needed to rant.

“I just… ever since she came over to my house for the first time, every time I saw her afterwards I always got this jittery feeling inside, my heart starts racing and I can feel myself blushing and I don’t understand why, since I’ve always thought she was cute from the beginning. But now I think I’m starting to put it all together, because when she shows any sign of concern or care for me I feel myself melt away and feel like I want to protect her like she protects me, and now I just always want to be with her and talk to her and look at her-”

“Whoa, babe, slow down there, take a breather,” Milo said, cutting me off which I was thankful for. I felt like I was about to pass out. 

I took a deep breath, but as I did so, the realization hit me of everything I just said, and my eyes filled up with tears. 

“Hun, I know it’s a lot to take in, and a big realization for you. But why are you upset? You like Tabitha, but what’s the problem?” Anita asked in that soothing mom way of hers. 

Once again, I took another deep breath and blinked the tears away. “I don’t know… I guess, it’s all overwhelming. I… have been with people before. But I’ve never actually liked someone before. The feelings that I have for Tabitha are feelings that I’ve never had before.” I looked down to my lap and shook my head, “I don’t even know if Tabitha would feel the same way.” 

Milo and Anita looked away from me then and looked at each other, sharing a look. I swore I saw them smirk at each other, but it was very brief, before they both turned their heads to look at me again. Weird. 

“I think maybe you need some time to sort your thoughts together. Probably give your brain a rest.” Anita said, reaching over to grab my hand. I gave her my hand and she gave it a gentle squeeze. “And give it some time. You probably shouldn’t confess right away, since these feelings are so new. Wait until the right moment.”

I bit my lip, “But how will I know when the time is right?”

Milo reached over and grabbed my free hand, the same way that Anita was holding the other one. “You’ll know. Trust me. If it’s meant to be, these things will work themselves out.” 

I sighed, but nonetheless, seeing my friends try to reassure and comfort me made me feel much better. I couldn't help the smile that planted itself onto my face. 

Anita and Milo smiled along with me, “Come on girl, that’s the Pamela we like to see. Give yourself a little more credit here!” Milo said, swinging our joined hands lightly. I laughed softly and nodded. 

“You guys are right. I think I’m going home for today, I gave myself a headache just thinking about this. Thank you guys for making me feel better, you’re amazing,” Milo grinned and pulled me into a tight hug. 

“Of course, Pamela! We love you so much!” He said, squishing our faces together in our awkward side hug. 

After he let go, Anita came and wrapped her arms around from behind me, “Anytime, hun. We’re always here and will support you.” 

I got up and said goodbye to Anita and Milo, then made my way out of the lounge. I saw Tabitha and Jack at the front desk talking, and both stopped to look at me as I walked out. I gave them both goodbye hugs and left to walk home, finally alone with my thoughts. 

 

Later that night, I was laying in bed watching TV, and I heard my phone buzz. I picked my phone up from my bedside table to see a message from Tabitha. 

9:36 pm  **Tabs 💜📚:** hey

9:36 pm  **Tabs 💜📚:** I know I asked you already, but are you okay? you seemed a little off today and I was just worried :(

9:38 pm  **Me:** yeah! I’m okay, sorry. I had a lil headache today… 

9:39 pm  **Tabs 💜📚:** Oh no :( how do you feel now?

9:39 pm  **Me:** I feel better! I think once I sleep it off I’ll be back to normal by tomorrow morning :) 

9:40 pm  **Me:** It’s nothing serious so you don’t have to worry ! 

9:41 pm  **Tabs 💜📚:** Okay, if you say so. I’ll let you rest up then. 

9:41 pm  **Tabs 💜📚:** good night ❤️

I smiled down at my phone. A sudden thought occurred to me. 

**Me:** Tabitha, wait… 

I frowned. A wave of anxiety hit me. It's probably not the right time now. I deleted the message. 

9:43 pm  **Me:** good night, tabitha 💙


	9. Mutual Pining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Milo and I nodded. Then, with no hesitation at all, Milo said, “It’ll probably be awkward for Tabs and Pamela to be in a relationship with each other with Pamela being rich, but Tabitha not accepting money or help from anyone.” 
> 
> Jack and I were stunned out of our melancholy trance when we saw the absolute serious expression on Milo’s face after he said that. Milo lifted his head to see us staring at him after no one said anything. “What? We all know they’re pinning after each other,” he claimed innocently. 
> 
> “Boy, the way you said that with no hesitation at all caught me off guard!” I squealed. 
> 
> Milo shrugged, “I mean, I can see it happening…”
> 
> Jack and I looked at each other. I could tell we both were thinking the same thing, but Jack was the one who said it out loud. “Yeah, honestly I can too.” he replied as I nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey. So this is the first time we're getting a chapter from a point of view that is neither Pamela or Tabitha. This chapter is actually from Anita's POV. And just to let you know, the flashbacks are all in third person, so it's not from anyone's pov. 
> 
> This chapter is longer than any chapter we've had so far, which could be a good thing or bad thing. So you're welcome/I'm sorry.

Anita's POV

Sundays aren’t usually busy, which I’m grateful for. Sundays are when I work alone most of the day, since Tabitha has her day off and Milo is still only working part time. As always, boss man stays in his office doing whatever he does (paperwork, I hope) so its me out here most of the day.

The good thing is that on Sundays, I get visits from either Jack or Pamela, sometimes both. Tabitha may pop in sometimes and help out a little bit, even though it’s her day off. People will even come up to her and ask her for help on her day off, since most people know her as the girl who works here. That girl never gets a break.

Today, I’m expecting Jack to come over in a few minutes. Milo was already here earlier this afternoon for his shift, and neither Pamela nor Tabitha have let me know anything about them coming today. So I waited for Jack to arrive so I could let the boss know I’ll be on lunch break. 

I was checking a customer’s books out when Jack arrived, walking in through the doors with unexpected company. Unexpected, but also not unexpected. 

“Anita! Hi again!” Milo’s excited voice echoed through the store as he and Jack made their way to the counter. I bagged the customer’s books, wished him a nice day and he was off, leaving the store empty again with just Milo, Jack and I. 

“Oh, Milo! I wasn’t expecting you to come back.” I replied. 

Milo rested his arm around Jack’s neck, “I just went to visit my dear friend Jack after work. He said he was going to visit you at work so why not come back and see my dear friend Anita as well,” he said, grinning brightly. 

Jack chuckled lightly, “Yeah, and we brought you food from McRonald’s.” he said, holding up a brown paper bag. 

I sighed in relief, “Thanks guys, I haven’t eaten since breakfast.” I didn’t wait to hear Jack and Milo’s reactions, all I saw was them gawk at me before I walked away to go let boss man know I was going on my lunch break. 

As soon as I let the boss know, I made my way to the lounge where Jack and Milo were already sitting at our usual table, putting the bag of food on the opposite side for me to have. I sat down and dug in, probably looking desperate as I bit into my burger ravenously. I looked up with my mouth full and met eyes with the two boys, who looked deeply concerned. 

“THREE meals a day, Anita.” Milo said, holding up 3 fingers in my face for emphasis. 

“Yeah, you really should make sure you take care of your health and eat at the appropriate times,” Jack said, which sounded more of a scolding than Milo saying it. 

I swallowed my bite. “You think I’m bad, you should see Tabitha. That girl would rather starve to death than take an hour away from her work time to eat. She worries me more than anyone.” I said, shaking my head.

Jack sighed, “No job is ever worth risking your health over.” 

I shrugged, frowning. “I don’t think Tabitha does it because she likes working. She probably feels like she can’t afford to lose any working time. Literally.” I said, realizing the unintended pun there. “Knowing her financial situation, she tries to work as much as she can if it means she’ll be rewarded with enough money.” 

Jack and Milo stayed silent for a moment, looking down to their laps or anywhere else. We all knew how much Tabitha struggles financially, but none of us could help her. It’s not that we can’t. It’s that Tabitha doesn’t accept help from anyone. 

“It sucks that Tabitha doesn’t like it when we offer to help,” Milo said, resting his chin on his hands. “I’d love to help her as much as I could.”

Jack nodded, “A few weeks ago, Milo and I offered to help her buy groceries when she looked like she was having a hard time. But when we asked her, she seemed a bit upset, I’d even go as far and say she was offended.”

I hummed in agreement, “That happened to me before. I think Tabitha does take offense to us trying to help her. She probably believes that we think she’s incapable of taking care of herself, or something like that.”

“Yeah, that seems like a touchy subject for her so we probably shouldn’t offer to pay anything major for her.” Jack declared. 

Milo and I nodded. Then, with no hesitation at all, Milo said, “It’ll probably be awkward for Tabs and Pamela to be in a relationship with each other with Pamela being rich, but Tabitha not accepting money or help from anyone.” 

Jack and I were stunned out of our melancholy trance when we saw the absolute serious expression on Milo’s face after he said that. Milo lifted his head to see us staring at him after no one said anything. “What? We all know they’re pinning after each other,” he claimed innocently. 

“Boy, the way you said that with no hesitation at all caught me off guard!” I squealed. 

Milo shrugged, “I mean, I can see it happening…”

Jack and I looked at each other. I could tell we both were thinking the same thing, but Jack was the one who said it out loud. “Yeah, honestly I can too.” he replied as I nodded. 

Milo smirked, excited at the fact that we agreed. “A couple weeks ago, when all of us were together here at the lounge that one time, Pamela was freaking out to me and Anita about how she was starting to think she liked Tabitha.”

Jack’s eyebrows rose in surprise, “Woah, really?”

Milo nodded, “It was when you and Tabs left to go get your books checked out. That girl was having a gay breakdown. I know one when I see one.” 

Jack and I squaked in laughter. Milo… he’s not wrong. 

Jack collected himself before he began, “Actually, I’ve been noticing the little hints between those two almost since I first met them. The way they interact is not that different from how my moms interact with each other, you know, without the kissing and stuff.” 

Jack chuckled, “But that same day that you guys are talking about, after Tabitha rang up my books at the counter, she had her own “gay breakdown” as well,” he said while holding up air quotes. 

Milo laughed, “Did she?!”

“Yeah, when she finished with my books she was holding her head down into her hands, she looked so frustrated. She was telling me that she really likes Pamela, and that she was at Pamela’s house and they were watching a movie. Apparently, Tabitha fell asleep on her by accident and Tabitha was freaking out over that because she likes her so much.” 

Both Milo and I let out an unnecessarily loud, “AWWWW!” 

We all started to laugh just thinking about how crazy our friends are for each other. I decided it was my turn to tell my side. “Well, both Pamela and Tabitha have straight up told me themselves that they like the other. Pamela told me that time when she told Milo as well, and I knew about Tabitha because she told me that same day when she introduced Pamela to me.”

Milo gasped, “Woah, that long ago? Isn’t that also the same day when-”

“When you came here for your interview and we met you? Yep.”

Jack’s eyes were wide. “Wow, you all met almost on the same day.”

I nodded. Milo nudged me on to continue talking about Tabitha. So I went on, “That day, I noticed Tabs was wearing very light makeup, which as you know, she doesn’t wear makeup just for no reason. When I saw who she brought to the store, and how they interacted, I knew right there and then that Tabitha was developing a crush. The way she looked at her, the way she talked to her, it was all adding up. I haven’t known that girl my whole life or anything, but I know her well enough to know that she likes Pamela. I did ask her about it later, to which she did admit was true.” I smiled, thinking about that memory. 

Milo chuckled, “Tabitha trying to look good for Pamela, wow. Not gonna lie, that’s pretty cute.”

“Actually, surprisingly it’s happened the other way around too,” I said. Jack and Milo looked at me with curiosity as I began to tell that experience.

.

_ Pamela was looking around her closet in a panic, trying to find a good dress to wear but not seeming to have any luck. She was rummaging, picking up clothes, and throwing them around her room, leaving a disaster.  _

_ “Ugh, nothing feels right!” she groaned, sinking to her knees on the floor in defeat. In the middle of her sulking, Pamela’s phone rang. It was Anita.  _

_ “ANITA!!” Pamela practically cried into the phone as she picked it up. “I can’t find anything to wear!” _

_ On the other side of the line, Anita was confused into silence. “Um… hello to you too.” _

_ Pamela blushed, “Sorry, I’m just frustrated. I know I’m late. I have like, two options but I can’t decide what’s best between those, or if they’re even good options at all!” _

_ “Pamela,” Anita spoke, sounding tired, “we’re just going to the park… since when do you worry about what to wear? You always look confident in everything.” However, Pamela’s silence into the phone confirmed Anita’s suspicions. Anita looked over at Tabitha, who was a few feet away from her, closing up Dusty Reads. The 3 of them were on their way to the park for the night and Pamela was supposed to meet them a few minutes ago. It was starting to click in Anita’s head.  _

_ “Hey… this doesn’t happen to have anything to do with what you told Milo and I at the lounge a few days ago, does it..” Anita asked. Pamela could hear a hint of teasing in her voice, and Anita swore she heard Pamela gulp.  _

_ “Uh.. no?” _

_ “Liar!” _

_ “Ugh, okay fine! Maybe I’m trying to sort of dress kind of in a way that maybe-” _

_ “Pamela… “ Anita began, making sure she was out of earshot from Tabitha. “You don’t need to try hard to impress Tabitha. Just wear what you would normally wear. You always dress up every day anyway, you really don’t have to change anything.” _

_ Pamela sighed. She ran her fingers through her hair and stood up straight. “You know what, you’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t try too hard.” She glanced at the black shorts and blue tank top sitting on her bed and smiled. “I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” _

_. _

“That’s so shocking, she dresses like she’s going to a photoshoot everyday.” Jack comments, and Milo nods in agreement. 

“I can’t believe they try to impress each other with their looks. They both look good already, they don’t have to do anything,” Jack said in disbelief. 

I shrugged. “It’s true, but this is what happens with people who are pining after each other.” I found it surprising as well. That day, I wasn’t expecting Pamela to be worried about what to wear for Tabitha since that girl looks like she doesn’t care about what she wears, nor does she ever need to. “Pamela and Tabs are definitely opposites in some things, but they’re also pretty similar.” 

“You got that right,” Jack chuckled, “They both have the same interests. Both of them are princess movie fanatics, apparently.” 

“Seriously?” Milo asked, sitting up curiously. 

Jack nodded. “Remember when the bookstore had that children’s event where they were showing movies to kids?”

Milo and I nodded. 

.

_ “Sorry guys, the DVD is jammed. We’re working to get it fixed so that you all can watch the movie,” Tabitha announced to the 10 kids that were currently sitting on the colorful rug on the floor. A chorus of disappointed groans echoed through the room from the children.  _

_ Tabitha, Pamela, and Jack all volunteered to help out with this event where the kids came to the bookstore for a movie night while their parents were out being busy. It was basically a babysitting job, to say the least. But it wasn’t going so well at the moment since the movie got stuck in the DVD player. Jack was in the middle of fixing it while Tabitha and Pamela tried their best to keep the kids entertained.  _

_ After explaining to the kids what happened and hearing the kids complain, Tabitha looked over at Pamela with a panicked look. Pamela frowned, trying to think of what to do. Pamela stood up from the chair she was sitting at nearby and hesitantly walked to the front of the room next to Tabitha.  _

_ “Hey guys,” Pamela called out, gaining the attention of the impatient children. Once they were all looking at them, Pamela began speaking, “So, as you know, we’re going to watch the movie Aladdin! How many of you have seen the movie before?”  _

_ There were 3 out of the 10 kids who excitedly raised their hands high in the air, with a series of ‘me’s being shouted from them.  _

_ Pamela’s eyes went wide, “Oh wow, the rest of you haven’t seen it?” _

_ Then a chorus of ‘no’s went around the room, to the disappointment of both Tabitha and Pamela as they looked at each other in shock.  _

_ “Oh my god, Aladdin is only like, the best princess movie ever!” Tabitha exclaimed.  _

_ Pamela nodded, “Yes! It has really good songs too! Do you guys wanna hear us sing an Aladdin song?!”  _

_ Tabitha whipped her head around faster than the words came out of Pamela’s mouth. Pamela innocently smiled at Tabitha. But behind that smile, Tabitha knew that Pamela wasn’t letting her get out of this. Tabitha spared a glance at Jack, who was sitting behind them by the TV fixing the technical issue. Jack was smirking back, looking forward to see how their performance goes. Tabitha sighed and smiled softly. It could be fun.  _

_ As soon as Pamela suggested the idea, all the kids seemed up for it. One of the little girls who had raised her hand earlier shouted at them to sing A Whole New World. Tabitha and Pamela looked at each other, before Pamela began to sing.  _

_ “ _ _ A whole new world _

_ A dazzling place I never knew _

_ But when I'm way up here _

_ It's crystal clear _

_ That now I'm in a whole new world with you” _

_ Tabitha chimed in with Aladdin’s part, “Now I’m in a whole new world with you-” _

_ “Unbelievable sights _

_ Indescribable feeling _

_ Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling _

_ Through an endless diamond sky”  _

_ When Pamela finished that part, Tabitha and Pamela began going back and forth as Aladdin and Jasmine, starting with Pamela as Jasmine.  _

_ “A whole new world” _

_ “Don’t you dare close your eyes” _

_ “A hundred thousand things to see” _

_ “Hold your breath it gets better”  _

_ Pamela and Tabitha were smiling brightly at each other as they sang together, Pamela reaching to hold one of Tabitha’s hands and swing them around much to the amusement of the children. Pamela continued on with her part.  _

_ “I'm like a shooting star _

_ I've come so far _

_ I can't go back to where I used to be” _

_ Now they went back and forth again, singing over each other starting with Tabitha as Aladdin this time. _

_ “A whole new world”  _

_ “Every turn a surprise” _

_ “With new horizons to pursue” _

_ “Every moment red-letter”  _

_ Finally, together in sync, Tabitha and Pamela ended the song.  _

_ “I'll chase them anywhere _

_ There's time to spare _

_ Let me share this whole new world with you” _

_ That’s where the song ended, much to the satisfaction of the children as they broke out into cheers and claps. Even Jack behind them, who had long ago fixed the jammed CD player, was highly invested in their singing performance and was clapping for them.  _

_ Tabitha and Pamela, however, were still looking at each other, giggling softly, hands still intertwined. Neither of them could stop grinning.  _

_ Until one of the girls shouted, “You two are sooo romantic!!” _

_ Then they both went wide-eyed. “WHAT?” Tabitha exclaimed.  _

_ They both let go of their hands as they looked at the kids in shock. All the kids began talking over each other about how romantic their performance was, and the two girls didn’t even know how to react. They definitely did not miss the booming laugh coming from behind them, Jack holding his stomach as he laughed at the whole situation. Pamela giggled sheepishly and Tabitha was about to burst from embarrassment.  _

_. _

“WHY AM I CRYING IN THE CLUB RIGHT NOW” Milo shouted, standing up from his seat as he slammed the table, pretending to cry, “those two are making me feel emotions! And I don’t get emotions!” 

“Why didn’t we know about this!” I yelled, practically beaming in my seat as well. But my mood changes quickly as I realized something. “You!” I pointed a finger at Jack’s chest, “Why didn’t you record that?!” 

“ _Mi_ _ erda _ , dude, you should have taken a video!!” Milo cried. 

Jack groaned in frustration, “I was caught up in the moment that I didn’t think about that! I thought about it afterwards and realized I should have done that.”

Milo and I groaned in frustration as well. “Why can’t they just get together already?” he demanded. 

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed, “Because the feelings are obviously there to us, but they don’t realize the feelings are mutual.”

“Isn’t it pretty obvious enough though?” Jack asked. “I feel like everything they do just shouts “I like you!” to each other.”

“Well believe it or not, those two are pretty dense,” Milo commented.

“I believe you.” I said, with a monotone voice. 

“I actually have a pretty funny story about them,” Milo snickered into his crossed arms, “it’s not as cute as you guys’ stories, but this just goes to show how hopeless those two are.”

.

_ “Girl, what did you just ask me?!” Milo howled, staring at Tabitha wide-eyed. Tabitha was fidgeting in her spot where she was standing in front of Milo, her face flushed.  _

_ She avoided looking him in the eye as she sputtered out, “Look. I-it always seems to work out for you, so I wanted to see if you can let me borrow a pick up line to test out on…” She trailed off, not having to say on who because both of them knew exactly who Tabitha was talking about.  _

_ Milo shook his head. “First of all, I don’t know what you mean by ‘always seems to work out for you’. Do you see a boy next to me? I’m still single as a pringle because Jack is blind and won’t see my advances on him.” _

_ “He’s literally straight-” _

_ “Second of all,” Milo continued, ignoring Tabitha, “I don’t think pick up lines are your thing. It won’t work for you. It doesn’t go with your… person.” Milo said, squinting his eyes at Tabitha as if trying to figure her out.  _

_ Tabitha rolled her eyes, “We’ll never know unless I try! Maybe I can at least get an indication that she’s aware that I’m flirting or something.” Tabitha looked at Milo shyly, eyes pleading, “please Milo!” _

_ Milo sighed and shrugged, “fine, whatever. Hmm..” Milo looked away in thought, trying to think of a pick up line. He doesn’t keep a big list of pick up lines in his head. He usually just makes them up on the spot, so he looked around for inspiration, His eyes landed on Anita’s coffee mug, which sat at the front desk of the book store, next to where they were standing. His eyes glinted with an idea.  _

_ “Try this one,” Milo began as he looked into Tabitha’s eyes, who looked like a child ready to learn something new.  _

_ “Do you come with coffee and cream? Because you are my sugar.” Milo raised his eyebrows suggestively, waiting to see Tabitha’s reaction.  _

_ Tabitha however, didn’t react. She just stared back at Milo blankly.  _

_ “What?” she asked. Milo groaned.  _

_ In that moment, Pamela walked into the store with drinks from Warbucks. She was beaming towards us, and Milo leaned into my ear and whispered, “She’s got coffee, now's your chance!” Then he pushed her forward to meet Pamela halfway. Tabitha had no choice but to use it.  _

_ Tabitha gulped as Pamela looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something. Tabitha stuttered, “H-hey um, do you come with coffee and cream? B-because… I need some sugar.” _

_ “Huh?” Pamela blinked.  _

_ Milo face-palmed.  _

_ Tabitha was beet red, her soul was gone.  _

_ “Oh, uh,” Pamela looked frantically at the cup holder with the drinks, “I brought you a tea?” Tabitha swallowed hard. In that moment she knew, she messed up. “I didn’t know you liked coffee? I’m sorry! I’ll get you a coffee right now Tabs!!” Pamela pushed the tray into Tabitha’s arms and proceeded to run out of the store.  _

_ “No- Pamela, wait!” Tabitha shouted after her but it was too late. Pamela was already gone, leaving to get a Tabitha a coffee faster than the speed of light. Tabitha doesn’t even like coffee.  _

_ Tabitha stared at the spot where Pamela was standing just a few seconds ago. Embarrassment was seeping into her as she heard Milo bellowing in laughter behind her. He was squatting on the floor, holding his stomach as he laughed his head off.  _

_ “TABITHA!” he screamed,  “Oh my god I’m gonna pee!” He continued to laugh as he stood up and Tabitha took that opportunity to set the cups down and proceed to furiously poke Milo all over his ribs, arms, and stomach. “Owie ow, stop that!” Milo shouted, still screeching in laughter.  _

_ “Stop laughing at me!” Tabitha whined, stomping her feet like a child.  _

_ Milo wiped away the tears that fell from his laughter, “You were the one who said it completely wrong! ‘I need some sugar’ Tabitha WHAT?”  He wheezed.  _

_ Tabitha poked him harder, “Well why did you give me such a hard line! And a confusing one too none of us get it, Milo!!”  _

_ Milo giggled, “You’re both equally as dense, you’re perfect for each other.” _

_. _

Once Milo finished telling the story, he was once again on the floor, laughing his ass off. Jack and I watched him with bubbling laughter of our own. Jack helped Milo up from the floor, who was wiping the tears from his face. I was covering my face with my hands and groaning. 

“God,” I sighed, “the second hand embarrassment…”

Milo exhaled, tired from laughing, “I didn’t let her live it down for like a week. I still sometimes tease her about it because it was hilarious.”

“I don’t think pick up lines and flirting comes naturally to anyone but you,” Jack stated simply, bringing Milo into a stuttering mess. I chuckled. 

I like to think that I’m pretty intuitive and know how to read emotions pretty well. Most people would think that Milo has a crush on Jack because he flirts with him so much. The thing is, Milo flirts with a lot of guys, so that being the reason is not good enough. I can see something else through my eyes. I haven’t known Milo that long, but there’s something about the way he acts with Jack that makes me think Milo likes him, and it’s not flirting. 

Jack has told us that he’s straight, so I don’t think much about his interactions with Milo. Either way, Jack is nice to everyone and the way he acts with Milo is no different than how nice he is with other people. However, sometimes I can’t help but wonder-

“Hello? Earth to Anita, you there?” Milo waved his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. It startled me so much that I flinched and sat up straighter.

“Ah, sorry guys. I was spacing out. What were y’all talking about?” My eyebrows crinkled upwards as I forced a smile.  

Milo frowned, “obviously you were. Anywho, we were saying that Tabitha’s birthday is this weekend. What are we gonna do?”

I gasped, “you’re right. Should we do something here?”

“Would your boss allow that?” Jack asked as he stole one of my cold, forgotten fries. I gave him a disgusted look which he ignored. 

“Boss man wouldn’t care,” Milo said, taking the fry Jack was about to eat from his hand.

“Yeah,” I replied, “I think as long as we make sure to lock up and stay clean. And since it’ll only be us he’ll most likely be okay with it.” I watched both of them continue to take cold fries, which made my face twist into a grimace. I snatched the carton of fries up, much to the disappointment of the two boys. “I’m gonna go heat these up, y’all crazy.” 

As I put the fries into the microwave, I heard the bell to the front door ring. A few seconds later, Pamela and Tabitha were bursting through the lounge entrance. 

“Hello!” Pamela shouted, waving frantically as she skipped towards our table. Tabitha walked behind her, smiling and waving to us. 

We greeted the two of them as they took a seat at our table and I brought back the fries. 

“Ooh, fries!” Pamela exclaimed as she took some fries and ate them. She put one up to Tabitha’s mouth and Tabitha allowed Pamela to feed it to her.

“Where were you guys today?” I asked them. 

“We went to go see a movie!” Tabitha enthused around her mouthful of fries. 

Milo wiggled his eyebrows and made a suggestive noise, “Ooh, so you two were- oomph!” I didn’t let him finish that sentence, stepping on his foot to silence him. I’m not about to let Milo ruin what they have by making it awkward. But it seems like the two girls either ignored him or didn’t hear him, because they continued talking about the movie. 

“It was so good! I’m glad Harley ended up with Ivy at the end and not the Joker,” Pamela fake gagged, and Tabitha giggled into her hand. 

“That was absolutely the best part. A win for the gays.” Tabitha remarked, earning a high five from Milo. 

Pamela looked around at everyone at the table expectantly, “So what were you guys talking about here?” She rested her chin on her hands, waiting. Tabitha also looked at us expecting to get an answer. 

The three of us just looked at each other, hoping someone would speak up. We couldn’t just tell them that 95% of our conversation consisted of us talking about their relationship. Neither of the boys looked like they were going to answer. I sighed. It was up to me. 

“Well, we were just discussing Tabitha’s birthday! It’s on Saturday, and we wanted to have something small here, just the 5 of us.” I grinned nervously.

“Yeah! That’s right. We should totally have a mini party here! It would be so much fun,” Pamela squealed. 

Tabitha looked at us with wide eyes, then looked down to her lap. “That’s very nice of you guys, but you really don’t have to if it’s too much trouble.”

“Not at all.”

“We want to!”

“It’s okay, tabs!”

“It’s no trouble.”

Tabitha’s eyes went wide again when all of us spoke at the same time, surprising her. Her face slowly broke into a shy smile and rolled her eyes fondly, “fine, if you all insist.”

We all did a small cheer, and began to discuss what we would do. “So, a small cake, music, food, and presents! All of that here in the lounge on Saturday after working hours. Does that sound good?” I asked. Everyone nodded or gave signs of confirmation. 

I smirked, “Great. Now let's get ready for this mini party!” 


	10. Tabitha's Birthday part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pamela stepped in front of me, putting her hands on my shoulders. She looked like she was about to say something, so I looked at her expectantly. I noticed everyone else was looking too. 
> 
> “Tabitha,” she paused, then continued, “I have your birthday present too. It’s not here right now, but I want to talk to you about it outside. Will you step outside with me?”
> 
> The air instantly left my lungs as I was suddenly filled with nerves all over. I had no idea what to expect. But for some reason, I just felt a sense of… caution. Like, whatever Pamela was going to show me… 
> 
> Was probably not going to please me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 1 of the final chapter, which I had to split into two because it was a liiittle too long, but here we go

Tabitha's POV

I stared at the black pencil in my hand, looking all over it as if it had any instructions at all on how to use it. The only words on the pencil were  _ eyeliner _ and  _ noir black.  _ I frowned at the thing and put it back down, wishing I knew how to do makeup. I looked at my face in the mirror, and decided mascara, blush, and nude lipstick were enough. I may not know how to put on makeup, but at least I know the basics, which I’ll only use on special occasions. 

And the special occasion that happens to be today is my birthday. 

Of course, I wasn’t able to convince my friends that a party wasn’t necessary. Not like I even put up a fight against it anyway. I guess in a way, I do like the idea of being thrown a small birthday party for my own selfish reasons. 

I haven’t had a real birthday party in over 10 years. After my parents passed away, my birthday was celebrated with only my grandma and I, and that celebration consisted of grandma making my favorite meal, which is a simple fish and chips followed by many baked goods. One of my grandma’s favorite hobbies was cooking, which meant that she was an expert at cooking anything. 

After she passed, I began living with my aunt Mel. Mel could care less about my birthday. I’m lucky if she even remembers the date, but when she does, all she says is a half-assed happy birthday and goes on with her day. This is the reason why my birthday has never really been an exciting day for me these past few years. Not until I began to have friends, at least.

Now that I have friends who care, I feel oddly excited for this day, and I’m looking forward to seeing them and spending time together. I have a feeling this will be a day full of joy for me after years of miserable birthdays. 

I stepped out of the bathroom and into my closet-room. I picked up the neatly folded clothes in the corner of the room, and began to get dressed. I bought a long sleeve white t-shirt. It wasn’t just any t-shirt, however. It was a crop top, that exposed only about an inch of my stomach, but made me feel out of my comfort zone either way. This isn’t what I normally wear, but Pamela convinced me to buy it, and who am I to question her fashion advice. The shirt clung to my body, exposing my curves along with my tight, ripped, black skinny jeans. Definitely too much exposure for me, but if others think it looks good on me, then I’ll have to trust their judgement. It’s a special occasion after all. 

I decided to leave my hair in the same wavy mess as always. I’m already way too dolled up for usual, and there's not much I can do with my hair this short. Once I decided I was ready, I called for an Oober to come pick me up, since I decided it was safer than taking the bus at this hour while I was looking like a hooker showing 1.2 inches of my stomach. I headed out of my closet-room to go wait outside for the Oober. As I was making my way towards the door, I passed by the living room. On the living room couch, I saw Mel sitting there with her boyfriend, a man I’ve never seen before and probably won’t see again. I immediately felt a feeling of disgust, seeing her in her old tattered clothes, her fiery red hair tangled and all over the place. She looks like she hasn’t gotten up for the last few days, and her boyfriend wasn’t any better. 

They were cuddling while watching a movie, both looking half dead, half awake. Mel’s eyes lazily drifted up towards me and me let out a weak, “Oh, happy birthday, kid. Guess I shouldn’t say kid since you’re 18 now, huh?” her voice croaked. 

Her boyfriend’s head rose and turned to my direction. I felt his eyeballs drift up and down my body as he slurred, “18 now, hmm?” 

I gave him the nastiest glare I could muster, and he turned away chuckling. My eyes fell on the small table in front of them, filled with bottles of wine and vodka. That explains a lot. I sighed, “Make sure you guys clean up that mess on the table, and any other mess you guys might make here or the bathroom.” I said, exhaustion in my voice. 

Mel rolled her eyes, “Look at you. You turn 18 and think you can boss me around just because you’re a legal adult now.” Mel slurred, voice thick with her accent. Mel talks without her british accent and claims that living here for a long time made it disappear, but I know it’s still there whenever I hear her speak while intoxicated. 

I sighed again, “No, it’s common decency to clean up the mess you’ve made, but that’s something I can tell you’ve never learned to do.” I wasn’t trying to pick a fight with her. Not on my birthday, not ever. Fighting with aunt Mel is not something I ever enjoyed doing, but dear god how this woman makes my blood boil. 

Mel stood up from the couch, standing fully in front of me now. I knew what this was going to lead to. “Hey! You wanna act like a little brat right now? Why do you think you know better than me, huh?” In the back, I saw Mel’s boyfriend chuckling to himself. That man was more out of it than Mel. 

“Because I’ve done everything for us to survive, and you know it. You barely go to work, so I’m the responsible one in the house. I’m more of an adult than you’ll ever be.” I said, struggling to keep my voice at a decent level. Mel, however, was not having any of it. 

“I AM THE ADULT IN THIS HOUSE, AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME!” Mel shouted in my face, the smell of alcohol hitting my nose. “How dare you talk to me like that!” she continued to shout. 

I burst. “Why should I listen to someone who can barely take care of herself?!” I yelled back, my breath hitching. “Don’t you care about your life at all? Or mine?!” I cursed myself for letting my voice crack at the end. I stood my ground, not showing any weakness on my face. 

Mel did not speak right away. She continued to glare at me, maintaining eye contact as she breathed heavily in anger. Then, she turned her back to me and I watched her shoulders fall. “Just get out of here,” she muttered, “I can’t look at you right now.” 

Without another word, I grabbed my wallet and phone and headed out the door, letting it shut behind me. Once I was outside, I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath. I’m finally 18, and I can start saving up and looking for an apartment to move out, like I’ve been planning for a while now. I wasn’t going to let aunt Mel ruin my day. This is my birthday, and I’m going to spend the day with my friends who care. Right now, I just need to see them. I know I’ll feel better once I see them. I thought about Pamela, her dirty blonde hair, bright eyes and beautiful smile. I thought about her kindness, her caring heart and optimistic attitude. I smiled. Once I see her I’ll feel much better, I know I will. 

I arrived at dusty reads, feeling strange being here after working hours. I’m not used to being here while it’s dark out, but once I saw the lights inside and the decorations, I felt excitement creep up my spine. I stepped into the bookstore, the bells on the door going off to announce my arrival, and only had a moment to process the fact that Pamela, Milo, Anita, and Jack were running out of the lounge towards me, yelling my name. Pamela was the first one to trap me in her arms.

“Me first!” she shouted, practically climbing on top of me as she hugged me tightly. “Happy birthday, Tabs! It’s your special day!” she exclaimed. 

I chuckled, hugging her back tightly, “It sure is,” I said, looking around at everyone else smiling brightly at us. 

After about a minute of us hugging, Anita rolled her eyes and smirked. “Alright Pam, we all want a turn with Tabitha.”

Pamela snuggled closer to me and I laughed. “No, just a little longer- eek!” Pamela squealed as she was lifted off the floor by Jack and pushed backwards. “No fair,” she whined, earning a group laugh. 

After Jack, Milo, and Anita all group hugged me and wished me a happy birthday, Milo gave a simple shout of “Party time, bitches!” which earned him a smack by Anita, but also a shout of agreement and I was being pulled into the lounge. 

Walking into the lounge, I was honestly very surprised at what I saw. Despite me not wanting a surprise party and my friends complying to my wishes, I was still surprised by how the room was decorated and set up. 

The room was dimly lit a light plum color, with  colorful streamers hanging from the ceiling, soft pop and hip hop music coming from the speaker in the corner, and a table holding a small cake, and being surrounded by various types of sweets. My sweet tooth definitely began to water. Above that table, there were two large golden balloons, a balloon shaped like a number 1, another shaped like a number 8 to form 18. 

Milo, Jack, and Anita were standing at the food table that contained boxes of pizza and began to set up the table, which was our usual lounge table. I was still standing by the entrance, looking at everything in the room, unmoving. Then I felt an arm snake its way through mine, linking our arms together. It was Pamela, looking at me with those bright eyes and gorgeous smile. I felt myself take a sharp intake of breath once I realized I wasn’t breathing as I stared into her eyes. My face broke into a small grin. 

“Do you like it?” Pamela whispered.

I nodded softly, “yeah.” I absolutely did. No one has ever done anything for me like this. No one has ever genuinely showed that they cared for me in a long time, and I really needed this. “I love it.” 

I heard Pamela hum in approval, “I’m glad you do.” Pamela began to pull me further inside with our linked arms, saying, “Come on, let’s go get you something to eat!” I giggled and allowed myself to be pulled in. 

“Everyone take a seat, I’ll serve y’all tonight!” Anita claimed, setting down the plates on the table. Milo and Jack were already sitting, so Pam and I joined them at the table. 

Milo smirked, “wow, thanks mom!!” he shouted, earning him a smack on the head from Anita for the 2nd time that night. He laughed to himself.

“I am NOT your mother, so you better pick up after yourself when you finish, boy.” Anita scolded. We all liked to call Anita our mother as a joke, mostly Milo. Anita acts like she hates it but we all know she secretly doesn’t mind it, which makes it all the more fun. 

After Anita served our plates, we all ate our pizza. Pamela, Milo, and I enjoyed our Hawaiian pizza with pineapple, ham, and bacon bits while Milo, Jack, and Anita had some of the pepperoni pizza. Yes, I mentioned Milo twice. That boy eats from anything and everything. 

After a few minutes of chatting and eating pizza, we were just about to finish the boxes of pizza until Milo shouted, “Guys! Don’t finish all the pizza! You need to save room in your bellies for the cake that Jack and I got!” At that point, any plans of finishing up the last half of my pizza were gone when suddenly Milo took away all of our plates, empty or full, and helped Jack bring over the box of cake that was currently covered up. They set down the box on our table.

“Hey I was still ea-” Pamela began, but was silenced by a finger to her lips from Milo.

“Hush darling, cake time.” he said. Anita and I looked at each other, and Anita just shrugged. We came to a silent agreement to just go along with it. 

Jack placed his hands on the box, preparing to open it. Before he did so, he looked at me with a shy smile and said, “We made sure to get it chocolate flavored and filled with whipped cream, since we know how much you like sweets.” 

“Yeah,” Milo continued, “And we got ‘Happy Birthday, Tabitha.’ written on it in beautiful cursive, making sure they knew to give it an elegant look!” he said, imitating a french accent. 

Anita and Pamela let out excited “Ooo’s” and I smiled. “I can’t wait to see it, it sounds beautiful.” 

Milo and Jack looked at each other excitedly. “We haven’t even seen it, we just told the baker what we wanted so this is a surprise for us too.” Jack replied. 

“Open it already, I wanna see!” Pamela squealed. 

“Yeah, go ahead, Jack!” Milo exclaimed. 

And without further ado, Jack opened up the box to reveal the cake. Now, this is the part where I describe how beautiful the cake looks and how emotional it makes me feel and all that stuff. But when I tell you that Milo and Jack had their jaws dropped all the way to the floor, and Anita and Pam were eyeing the cake, and then the two boys back and forth with confusion evident on their faces, I am not exaggerating.  

Let me describe it now. The cake was a bright orange color, and it was covered in rainbow sprinkles. Surrounding the outline of the cake was a cluster of colorful edible cake toppers that were in the shape of a cat’s face. And the cake did not, in fact, say ‘Happy birthday, Tabitha’, but instead said ‘Happy birthday, tabby cat.”

Milo, for the first time that night, was speechless. “I…” 

Jack was the one who broke the silence first. “So uh… it appears that there has been a misunderstanding.” 

Anita mumbled, “I would have never guessed.” 

Pamela covered her mouth with her hand in shock, “oh my god.” 

Finally, Milo broke. “Que significa esto?!” he yelled, grabbing a fistful of his hair. He turned to Jack, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt in panic, “dude, didn’t you tell them to have it say ‘Happy birthday, tabitha?’” 

Jack nodded, “I did. What I’m assuming happened is that when I told them ‘Happy birthday, tabitha’,” he paused, rubbing the back of his neck as his face flushed red, “they probably heard ‘happy birthday, tabby cat’ since both sound pretty similar.”

“And since those bakers at that shop were probably stupid,” Anita began, “they most likely didn’t hear or write down what you guys wanted on that cake and just made a wild guess and assumed this was for a 5-year-old.” She rolled her eyes in annoyance. 

We all took a moment of silence to process what just happened. The thought of Jack awkwardly going up to a baker and describing what he wanted, but the baker for some reason not understanding what Jack was saying. So the baker just decides to say fuck it and make this cake all about cats. The look of disappointment on my friends’ faces. It was all too much. 

I don’t know what came over me. It started out as a fit of giggles, and suddenly I was bellowing in laughter, bending over at the table holding my stomach as I struggled to keep my laughter in. Jack, Milo, Anita, and Pamela all looked at me like I was dying, but pretty soon, Pamela was the first to join me in my laughter. 

“Okay, yeah I’ll admit, this is actually pretty funny,” she said in between giggles. 

Milo looked at the both of us and sighed, “I guess you’re right.” he said and laughed along with us. Anita and Jack just looked at each other and chuckled. 

As soon as I was able to speak again, I said, “Don’t feel bad, you guys. I appreciate the efforts you boys went through. And the whole situation is funny enough that I’ll definitely never forget this.” 

Both Jack and Milo came over around the table and gave me side hugs, “Aww thanks kiddo, we really appreciate it,” Jack said, bringing a warm smile to my face. 

“Yeah, we’re glad you still like it, tabby cat!” Milo teased, and as a result to the nickname I took a finger full of frosting and spread it on the tip of Milo’s nose. He screeched.

“Hey, at least they got the flavor right!” Anita said as she was halfway through cutting slices of the cake for everyone. That was a relief for all of us. 

After the cake time was done, everyone was begging me to open their presents. This was the part where I felt a little uncomfortable. I’m not used to receiving things, it’s been years since I last received a gift. I’ve always thought that if I were to receive anything, I would have had to earn it. I don't really see how turning a year older is deserving of presents for me, but since it is a birthday tradition I’ve decided to let it slide. It’s not like my friends bought me a car or anything. 

I opened the first gift, a neatly wrapped box that was decently weighted. Inside, I found a pair of brown shoes with brown laces tied into a neat knot. They looked like the type of shoes you could wear casually  _ and _ formally. They were beautiful. 

I’m guessing from the look on my face, everyone could tell I really liked my present. Anita chuckled, “I bought these for you because they reminded me of your style. I’m glad you like them, Tabs.” I stood up from my seat and hugged Anita tightly, thanking her for the gift. I turned to sit back down only to find Milo with my shoes, inspecting them in awe. I shook my head, that boy always had an eye for fashion. 

Jack grabbed a box from the present table and put it in front of me. “I hope you like this. I think it could be useful to you,” he chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. 

Once I unwrapped the gift, Anita and Pamela came in close next to me, inspecting the item and letting out impressed “ooo’s”. 

“A coffee machine?” I asked. 

“For coffee, or tea. Basically you can boil water and use it for whatever you’d like.” Jack replied, giving the box a tap. He was right, this really  _ is  _ useful. 

“Thanks, Jack. I really needed this,” I said, giving him a hug. He ruffled my hair and grinned. 

“Glad you like it.” I nodded. 

Milo set a large bag in front of me, “Open mine next, Tabby cat!” That nickname was definitely not going away. 

As I was opening it, Milo kept watching my face. I eyed him warily, not knowing if I should expect a prank or something nice. What I pulled out from the bag instead was a windbreaker with the sleeves and top part white, and the bottom part maroon. It was very  _ very  _ nice. I looked at it with big, shining eyes.

“Milo, I-”

“Try it on, Tabitha!” he exclaimed, more excited about the jacket than I was. I pulled on the jacket over myself. It fit perfectly. 

“Tabitha, it looks so good!” Pamela squealed, holding my arms out to look at the jacket. I felt myself blush. I hate myself. 

“I bet these shoes will compliment it nicely.” Anita beamed, holding up the shoes. 

Milo held up the boiling machine Jack got me in the air, “And a cup of tea to complete the aesthetic.” I laughed hard at that. I was hitting a point of such happiness, a happiness I haven’t felt in a long time. All my friends were here, laughing, joking, and just spreading love. I don’t want this moment to end. 

Pamela stepped in front of me, putting her hands on my shoulders. She looked like she was about to say something, so I looked at her expectantly. I noticed everyone else was looking too. 

“Tabitha,” she paused, then continued, “I have your birthday present too. It’s not here right now, but I want to talk to you about it outside. Will you step outside with me?”

The air instantly left my lungs as I was suddenly filled with nerves all over. I had no idea what to expect. But for some reason, I just felt a sense of… caution. Like, whatever Pamela was going to show me… 

Was probably not going to please me. 

I forced myself to smile and nod. Pamela was smiling back at me, oblivious to my nerves. I took off my new jacket, claiming I didn’t want to get it dirty and put it back into the bag. I walked out of the lounge with Pamela, and didn’t miss the look on my friend’s faces, who all looked curious but excited nonetheless. I wish I felt like that right now. But I didn’t. 

 

Pamela's POV

I led Tabitha outside of the bookstore, the jingle of the bells from the door opening sounding louder than usual in this quiet October night. Tabitha was quiet as we walked out the door, and I wondered how she would react to my present. Tabitha and I stood in front of each other, just watching one another. It was in that moment I realized she was taller than me, but only by about an inch. The shape of her eyes, her nose, her mouth, all formed her face perfectly. Her short, wild hair falling over her left eye moving to the side as Tabitha tucked her hair away from her face. She was just perfect. 

I took a deep breath and grinned. I’m sure Tabitha will be happy about this. “So…” I trailed off. Why am I so nervous? “Uh, for your birthday gift, I wanted to give you something that I thought would make you happy. Something you really wanted.” Tabitha was watching me with wary eyes. She didn’t look very excited. Not going to lie, that made me a little nervous. I looked off to the side in order to avoid watching Tabitha’s face as I continued. 

“I remember when you came to my house, you told me that when you turned 18, you were going to start looking for a place to live on your own.” 

I looked up at Tabitha, and felt my heart sink. Tabitha looked very anxious. Her brows were furrowed together, mouth turning down into a frown. Did I make a mistake? I continued anyway. 

“So, I talked to my dad, and… he found a small apartment that you could potentially live in. We can get it for you right away, money not being an issue of course, all we need is your confirmation. But… that’s my present to you, Tabitha. Your own apartment.” I chuckled nervously, feeling like I just ran a mile. 

My biggest fear came true, as I looked up at Tabitha and noticed she wasn’t excited like I hoped she would be. Tabitha looked at me with a look I’d never seen before. A look I never expected to be directed to me, from her. 

She looked angry.

“Pamela… why?” she asked, her eyes pleading. It was my turn to look anxious. I could ask her the same thing. 

“I… I thought you would be happy.” 

“Happy?! Pamela… I work so hard,  _ so hard _ , just to make enough money to provide for two people. I never take breaks and work extra hours just to make enough. Since I started doing this, I’ve been told by so many people, that I wouldn’t make it. I would not succeed. A young girl like me can’t make enough money to survive on her own. No one believed in me.” 

I looked at Tabitha with sad eyes, “Tabitha-”

“Please! Don’t look at me with those eyes. I’ve seen those eyes too often.” She spat, still on the verge of bursting. “Everyone always saw me with such pity, “poor girl” they said, “she won’t survive past 20”, they said. I’ve never heard, “I believe in you, Tabitha,” never had anyone express any encouragement towards me.”

I felt myself starting to feel upset a well. “Tabitha, that’s not true!”

Tabitha began to raise her voice, “You don’t understand!” she yelled, “You’ve always had everything handed to you. Money is never an issue for you. But me? I don’t have those privileges! I have hard work! I need to earn things in order for people to stop viewing me as some dirt poor nothing who won’t succeed!” Tabitha was breathing hard, her face red from frustration. The next words that came out of her mouth felt like an ice cube melting on a hot surface. 

“You wouldn’t understand what working hard is like or what it even means, Pamela.”

Those words caused something inside me to snap. I was no longer thinking like myself. The old Pamela snaked her way into my body and took over my better judgement. I couldn’t stop myself from what I was saying next. 

I clenched my fists, staring directly into Tabitha’s eyes as I spoke softly, “No. But I understand that you need me.” 

Tabitha’s eyes grew wide in shock, and maybe confusion. I took her silence as a sign to continue. 

“You need me,” I repeated. “I know you can’t do this alone, and I’m the only one that can help you.” Why am I saying this? This isn’t me. “I have the resources you need.” Please, stop. “And you don’t have anyone else who would help you.” I need to be quiet. 

“You need me. Everyone always does.” 

At this point I wasn’t looking into Tabitha’s eyes anymore. I was looking down at my shoes, a blank expression on my face. My face was unreadable, just like my emotions. I couldn’t even tell if I’m feeling happy, sad, angry, hurt. I just felt nothing. 

“What’s going on here…?” I heard someone say following the sound of the door’s bells. I was snapped out of my trance of numbness once I looked up towards the door and realized it was Anita who was watching us both from the door, with Jack and Milo on either side of her. All three of them watching us with a serious expression. I finally mustered up the courage to turn and look at Tabitha. When I did, I felt my heart drop and hands start to shake.  

Tabitha was furiously attempting to wipe her tears away but appeared to be useless as they just streamed down her face, one after another. None of us have ever seen Tabitha cry, and just knowing that I was the cause of this clawed at my throat in the most painful way. 

Tabitha sniffled, and shook her head. “I can’t believe you,” she said, avoiding eye contact and looking off to the side. 

My eyes shone with unshed tears of regret, “Tabitha-”

But I didn’t get to finish before she ran off inside, pushing past Anita, Milo, and Jack, who all looked at her with similar expressions of concern. Anita and Jack both looked at each other before silently agreeing to run inside after Tabitha, while Milo stayed outside and watched me stand in a puddle of my own remorse and shame. 


	11. Tabitha's Birthday part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I heard footsteps approach me, but didn’t look up to see who it was. I just felt two people sit next to me, one on each side of me. A hand from my right side crawled up and ruffled the top of my head softly, then stroked down the stands of my hair in a comforting manner. I recognized the hair ruffling as Jack, since he has a habit of doing that to Pamela, Milo, and I. Then I heard Anita’s voice speak up.
> 
> “Hey… I don’t know what happened between y’all, we didn't hear your conversation. But, none of us like seeing you guys fight. We want to help you, so maybe talking to us about what happened might help.”
> 
> “And take your time, don’t worry. We’re listening.” Jack added, his hand falling to my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. 
> 
> I felt terrible about the fact that our friends are now in the middle of this mess between Pamela and I. I knew that they deserve to know. So I took a deep breath and wiped my cheeks, which didn’t stop the flow of tears but I couldn’t help that.

Tabitha's POV

“Fuck…” My voice cracked as I ran behind the front desk and sat on the floor, pulling my knees to my chest as I lay my head on top of them. I hate the fact that I can’t stop crying or letting out pathetic sniffles. It’s been so long since the last time I’ve cried, and with the fight I had with aunt Mel, and the fight with Pamela to top it all off, it was only a matter of time. 

I heard footsteps approach me, but didn’t look up to see who it was. I just felt two people sit next to me, one on each side of me. A hand from my right side crawled up and ruffled the top of my head softly, then stroked down the stands of my hair in a comforting manner. I recognized the hair ruffling as Jack, since he has a habit of doing that to Pamela, Milo, and I. Then I heard Anita’s voice speak up. 

“Hey… I don’t know what happened between y’all, we didn't hear your conversation. But, none of us like seeing you guys fight. We want to help you, so maybe talking to us about what happened might help.”

“And take your time, don’t worry. We’re listening.” Jack added, his hand falling to my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. 

I felt terrible about the fact that our friends are now in the middle of this mess between Pamela and I. I knew that they deserve to know. So I took a deep breath and wiped my cheeks, which didn’t stop the flow of tears but I couldn’t help that. 

“She… she said she bought me an apartment as a birthday gift,” my voice quivered, “And I was upset because I don’t like people buying things for me. I like encouragement and… and support.” I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced myself to continue, “and she grew upset, and acted like I sh-should have been grateful for her and I- I just felt like… like she doesn’t believe in me,” I wept. I ran my hand through my hair and took a shuddering breath. 

Jack squeezed my shoulder once more, prompting me to turn my head slightly to look in his direction. “Of course she believes in you! It doesn’t take a person much to be able to tell that she deeply cares about you and wants to watch you succeed.” 

I felt Anita’s hand grab my left hand and link our fingers together. As soon as I looked at her, her eyes softened and her mouth formed into a small smile. “Jack is right. I’m sure there was a misunderstanding, and perhaps she just said that in the heat of the moment. You should talk to her right now, and let her explain herself. But I can assure you, Pamela did not mean what she said and is probably beating herself up for it.” 

I looked down at my lap, sitting cross legged, staring down at my shoes in thought. I really should talk to Pamela. I turned to look at Jack as well, and he looked me in the eye and nodded. I looked back down at my lap and slumped my shoulders. 

“I hate that I’m mad at her, mostly hurt. But even while I’m hurt, I’ll just look at her and want to forgive her automatically, because she’s Pam.” I saw Anita and Jack look at each other with knowing looks and equally knowing smiles. I continued, “But I know I shouldn’t, because what she said was not good at all.” 

Anita nodded in understanding, “She definitely owes you an apology for hurting you, Tabitha, but just remember: it’s okay to forgive her. Don’t feel like just because she hurt your feelings, you have to stay mad.”

“Just make sure you hear her apology, stay calm, and then decide if you want to forgive her or not. Forgiving is always the best option though, in my opinion.” Jack finished, giving me a friendly wink. I gave him a small smile in return and nodded. 

* * *

Pamela's POV

As soon as Anita, Jack, and Tabitha ran inside, I was left alone outside with Milo, who just watched me as I stood there with my arms crossed over my stomach, staring down at my shoes in guilt. He approached me slowly, hands in his pockets as he stood in front of me, watching my face. I assumed he was waiting for me to speak first. The only thing I could think about saying was, “I didn’t mean it.” 

He raised his eyebrows, prompting me to continue. “I said some things I shouldn’t have. But I didn’t mean them at all. I don’t know where it came from. And it just took control over me, I couldn’t stop myself.” I took a deep, shuddering breath. “The old Pamela came out. That mean bully that I used to be all those years ago just took over me. And I feel so, so terrible,” my voice quivered, and I felt that familiar feeling in the back of my throat and nose, but forced myself not to cry. I don’t deserve to cry, I was the one who hurt Tabitha. 

I raised my head to observe Milo’s reaction. His mouth was formed into a small frown, eyes boring into mine with a look of disappointment, but also a hint of sympathy. I’ve never seen Milo look this serious at me before, which freaked me out a little. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak.

“Pammie… we all say things we regret to people we deeply care about at some point in our lives. It happens. And the best thing we can do is to just accept that we were wrong, ask for forgiveness, and make sure it never happens again.” 

I nodded, understanding what he meant. I knew what he said was true, but I still felt bad that I let myself fall back into my old toxic mindset. I wasn’t myself, and I never EVER wanted Tabitha to see that part of me. I hugged myself closer, looking off to the side with a blank expression. 

Milo must have noticed my inner conflict with myself, because he outstretched his arms and said a simple “come here, Pam,” and I ended up in between his arms, clinging to the back of his jacket tightly. He rubbed my back in a circular motion, and spoke in the softest tone I’ve ever heard from him. 

“Pamela, you’re one of the sweetest most amazing people I’ve ever met. I know that the person who you were in your past is not you now, and I’m sure Tabitha knows that too. Everyone has parts of themselves that they need to work on as a person, but I know you, and I know your heart is good and full of love.” 

I couldn’t hold back the small sob that escaped my throat, and the tears that leaked out of my eyes. I felt Milo hug me tighter, putting his chin on the top of my head. “I just really, really like her a lot, Milo.” I whined, my voice muffled in his shoulder. “We’re not even together and this already feels like heartbreak.” I heard Milo give a hearty laugh, loud and pure, which made me smile as well. Milo pulled away from me, holding on to my shoulders and I wiped away my tears as fast as they came out. 

Once I regained my composure, I looked at Milo, who was already staring back at me. He had a confident glint in his eyes. “Well, you know what you have to do now.” I raised my eyebrows, wondering what he meant. As soon as I saw him give me that knowing smirk, I understood. “Go get your girl.” 

* * *

I stepped into the bookstore and felt my heart increase its beats. My palms began to sweat and shiver as I walked towards the front counter, Milo following close behind me. I heard muffled voices from behind the counter, and as soon as I peered around the counter, the voices stopped. Three pairs of eyes were looking at me, but I could only focus on one. She was no longer crying, but the evidence was still on her face, the evidence of her hurt that I caused. I need to be alone with her. Everyone is looking at me. I should say something. 

“Um… can I talk to her?” I asked, not knowing who I was asking, but at that moment both Anita and Jack stood up, giving Tabitha quick side hugs before saying something about going to clean up the lounge. Milo, Jack and Anita were gone, leaving just Tabitha and I behind the front desk. Tabitha was looking down at her shoes, and I was still standing in the same spot. I can’t move. But I should go sit next to her. 

I willed my feet to drag me towards her, and took a seat on her left side where Anita had been sitting previously. I didn’t look at her. I couldn’t look at her. I hate to see the pain on her face, the pain that I caused. But I deserve to feel guilty. This is my fault and I need to acknowledge it. 

I finally gathered the courage to look at her. She was slumped forward, her hair covering her face as she looked down at her lap. Her hands were fidgeting with each other in a nervous manner. She seems just as nervous as I am. Of course she is, why wouldn’t she be. I watched her fidgeting hands, feeling the urge to just reach over and grab her hand, clasping it over mine. I swallowed back that urge. 

“Tabitha…” I finally manage to say. I saw the fidgeting of her hands freeze. That’s the smallest sign of acknowledgement from her that I saw. “Tabitha, please… look at me.” I watched her, waiting for her to look me in the eyes. Slowly, I saw her brush the hair out of her face and turn to face me. Her eyes and nose were bright red, face streaked with dry tears. Her eyebrows were turned upwards in worry as she looked at me. Even like this Tabitha looked so pretty I couldn’t believe it. 

I took a deep breath and looked down to our hands, resting on our laps. I reached over and grabbed one of Tabitha’s hands, then reached out for the other before I linked our hands together. I held her hands lightly, allowing her to pull back if she wanted to. After she didn’t pull back, I intertwined our fingers together and held her hands firmly, but softly. 

I looked back up at her eyes and finally spoke. “I… I’m so sorry for what I said.” Her eyes remained unchanged, and I swallowed the lump in my throat. “It was _so_ uncalled for. I didn’t mean to go off on you, it just slipped out, but that's not me. I promise, Tabs, I did not mean what I said at all. That’s not how I feel.” I looked down at our hands and I realized I was lightly swiping my thumb across her hands in a comforting motion. Comforting for who, I wasn’t sure. “I really do believe that you can accomplish anything. I’ve seen you work, I’ve seen how tired you get, and I’ve seen your determination, and I admire it so much!” I continued, “I look up to you so much, because I wish I was as great of a person as you are. But you’re right. I’ve never had to work hard to succeed. It’s kind of pathetic, and I deserve you to be mad at me.” I chuckled awkwardly. 

Tabitha squeezed my hands, causing me to drive my attention back to her eyes. She frowned before finally speaking to me. “Pamela... what you said… it really did hurt me. I didn’t like what you said.” I felt my shoulders slump in sadness, and my face hung low. Well, what did I expect?

What I didn’t expect was for Tabitha to gently grab my face and pull it back up so I’m looking into her eyes. I felt the butterflies in my stomach fluttering at this intimate contact. Tabitha gave a small but sad smile. “But I can never stay mad at you.” 

All at once, I felt relief, happiness, and guilt. The latter being the strongest feeling. I frowned, “Tabs… you should be mad at me. I deserve it.” I don’t understand how she can just forgive me so easily. No one has ever just forgiven me like that before. I was surprised to see Tabitha shaking her head. 

“What you said was wrong. But I do understand that it didn’t come from your heart. I know your heart, and you have a beautiful heart, Pamela.” I’m no longer alive. My breath hitched and my heart skipped a beat for a few seconds. How is she so perfect? She’s everything I could ask for and more. I realized in that moment that I am absolutely gone for this girl. 

“Tabitha…” was all I could say. My brain was no longer functioning properly. Since my words weren’t coming out, I settled for expressing myself through actions instead. So what I did next was tackle Tabitha into a tight bear hug, half falling into her lap as I did. Tabitha let out a chuckle as she held me with one hand on my waist, and another on the back of my head while I clung to her neck and shoulders. “Tabs, I am so so sorry. I care about you SO much, it’s crazy. Making you cry is the worst feeling in the world and I never want it to happen again.” I whined, sounding on the verge of tears. 

Tabitha giggled, “It’s okay now, Pammie. I’m okay, we’re okay.” she mumbled into my neck, along with other words of consolation. We stayed that way for a couple of minutes until an idea popped into my head. It wasn’t much, but I’m hoping this helps Tabitha feel a little better. I finally pulled away from her so I could look into her eyes, keeping my hands resting on her shoulders. 

“Hey… so I know now that you don’t like receiving big gifts like what I got you. But I still want to make it up to you and give you _something_ for your birthday.” Tabitha eyed me warily, but kept a playful smile on her face. I smiled back, “How does a cup of tea from our favorite coffee shop sound?” 

Tabitha’s smile grew into a wide grin, then she burst into a fit of giggles, “I think that sounds lovely, Pam.” She stood up from the ground and dusted herself off, then proceeded to stretch an arm out to help me up, which I gladly took. She glanced over at the entrance to the lounge, eyebrows raised in concern, “should we let them know we’re heading out?” 

I looked towards the lounge as well, and heard the muffled voices of Jack, Milo and Anita who were laughing and talking about. I looked back at Tabitha and shook my head. “I’ll text Anita and let her know we left.” 

I realized then that we still haven’t let go of our joined hands from when Tabitha helped me up off the ground. Tabitha noticed me looking at our hands, and I thought for a moment she was going to let go. But Tabitha looked me in the eye, then back to our hands as she switched the position of our hands so our fingers are intertwined and locked. I knew my face was beet red at that moment, and it’s very likely Tabitha noticed, but she decided to ignore it as she pulled me along out towards the door, and we walked to the coffee shop holding hands the whole time. 

The coffee shop was exactly as I remember it. Soft colors, books surrounding the walls, cute decorations set up everywhere. It brought back memories of that night. When I got robbed, abandoned, and sexually harassed. It wasn’t the first time all 3 of those things happened to me. I was shaken up that day, even after being saved by Tabitha. But it’s something that I’m used to and have become somewhat numb to. 

Tabitha and I were still holding hands when we walked through the shop door. Tabitha grinned upon entering the coffee shop that is basically her second home. Her grin fell once she turned to look at me, catching me lost in my thoughts. 

She squeezed my hand, snapping me back into reality and bringing my eyes up to hers. “Are you alright, love?”

Those were the exact words she said to me that night. Thinking about that brought a shy smile to my face and I nodded. However, it was as if Tabitha had seen right through me, because then she furrowed her brows and pouted. “This is bringing back sad memories, isn’t it?” 

I looked down at the ground. I didn’t want to say yes, because then Tabitha would feel bad and suggest we leave. But I also didn’t want to lie to her and say no. I sighed softly. “Yeah, a little.” I mumbled, “but it’s alright. That’s in the past. I’m definitely much happier since I met you.” I did not expect to say that last part, but it took me by surprise how naturally that came out of my mouth. 

It took Tabitha by surprise too, because she stood there mouth agape with blushing cheeks. Tabitha giggled nervously, “I-I feel the same way, Pamela.” I looked back at her and we were both just looking at each other, awkwardly giggling. Awkwardly. 

“Uhhh…” Tabitha broke the awkward silence, “do you wanna sit out on the balcony? I think the nighttime brings a gorgeous view!” I turned to the back of the cafe where there indeed was, a balcony. I don’t remember seeing that there the first time but then again, I had other things on my mind. 

“Yeah, sure! I had no idea they had a balcony here, that’s so cute!” I said, starting to walk towards the balcony with Tabitha walking behind me. 

“I’ll order our drinks, you go get us a table, okay?” I nodded before Tabitha walked off, leaving me to enter the balcony alone. It was dark out, but the balcony was illuminated by a string of round light bulbs. If Milo were here, he’d definitely be admiring the aesthetics of this place. 

The balcony was empty. There were about 6 tables sorted out here. I decided to sit at the table closest to the fence of the balcony that was overlooking the city of Manhattan. The view was gorgeous, with the lights of the city and the lights of the stars making everything look like it was out of a movie. This looked like the perfect setting for a date, which makes me happy knowing that I’m here with the one person who I would love to share this setting with. 

Speak of the devil, Tabitha came back with two drinks in hand, walking over to the table where I sat. “Here I bring a hot vanilla coffee and green tea! Make your choice.” Tabitha said, putting the drinks down as I laughed into my hand. 

“I’ll leave the tea for the girl from London.” I said, giving Tabitha a wink as she snorted. Tabitha sat down in front of me and blew softly on her hot tea. I did the same. 

Tabitha sighed as she took a sip, and looked out at the city across the balcony. I caught myself observing her face, illuminated by the lights of the city and reflecting off her eyes. She looked absolutely gorgeous, it was breathtaking. 

“The view is amazing, isn’t it?” Tabitha said, still looking out at the city. 

I never took my eyes off of her when I responded, “Yeah… yes it is.” I know I just did a cliche. I hate myself for it but I’m not sorry at all. 

We both sat in silence for a few minutes, just calmly sipping our drinks to keep warm. This time, the silence wasn’t awkward. It felt natural. This was something I could get used to. 

Tabitha and I chatted silently. We talked about anything, we laughed together, we joked around, we told stories. At one point, we switched drinks to see how they tasted. My face twisted into a sour look when I tried Tabitha’s tea, not enjoying the taste. Tabitha broke into laughter when she saw my reaction. When she tried my coffee, she gave a pleased look, enjoyed the sweetness of my drink. That was expected from her since anyone who knows Tabitha knows she loves sweet things. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a faint light shoot across the sky and quickly disappear behind a tree. I whipped my head around as fast as I could, barley catching a glimpse of the light. I looked at Tabitha to see if she also noticed the light and found her looking across the balcony with her mouth agape, then looked back at me. 

“No freaking way did we just see a shooting star,” she gasped. 

I shrieked and jumped out of my chair, “You saw it too?!” I whisked over to the balcony and held onto the fence, observing the starry sky. Tabitha stood next to me and stared in awe. We both looked at each other, still shocked. “Tabitha you got a shooting star on your birthday! That’s like, good luck!” 

“Is it?!” she cried. 

“It has to be! How common are shooting stars, especially on your birthday?” I exclaimed. Tabitha and I were laughing, still in disbelief that we saw a shooting star. “Make a wish, Tabs!” 

Tabitha took a few moments of silence to make her wish, closing her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again. The first thing she looked at was me, and she gave me a fond smile that had the butterflies in my tummy fluttering about. I looked away, blushing. Then cringed at how quickly I looked away. If she noticed, she didn’t mention it. 

We stayed by the balcony, just looking out at the city. I felt Tabitha looking at me, so I turned around and met her eyes. She still had that same fond look on her face. “Are you alright?” Tabitha asked me. 

I cocked my head a little, furrowing my brow in confusion, “Of course. Why do you ask?” 

Tabitha looked away from me before answering, “Just checking.” I wondered what she meant before she continued, “I wasn’t sure if being here would make you feel bummed out because of what happened on that night.” Tabitha bit her lip, looking down. I sensed that she felt responsible if I wasn’t happy. I quickly reassured her. 

“No, I feel happy! When we first walked in here, the memories did come back.” I told her, and Tabitha lifted her head revealing sad eyes. I put my hand above hers, which was gripping the railing. “But you know what other memories came back? My memories with you.” 

I continued to keep my hand over hers. I don’t know where this sudden wave of confidence came from, but I continued talking. “That day, you turned my night around and made it better. You saved me, Tabitha. You saved my life. You saved me when I was alone out in the cold and you scared that creepy man away. You saved me when you took care of me. You saved me when you became my only real friend.” I wasn’t looking Tabitha in the eyes, but when I finally looked up at her, she was smiling at me. My confidence was gone when I realized what I was saying, and this time Tabitha 100% noticed me blushing, because she started giggling when I covered my face in my hands. “I don’t know what I would do without you,” I mumbled, my voice muffled by my hands but I know Tabitha heard me clearly. Tabitha gathered me in her arms and rocked me back and forth. Even though I couldn’t see her, I could feel her grinning. 

I hugged Tabitha back, and she held me tighter. “I don’t know what I’d do without you either, Pammie.”

After she said that, what happened next I remember so clearly, yet it all felt like a blur. We hugged for a few more seconds before we both pulled away, but my hands moved up to her shoulders and she kept me locked in her arms, her hands on my waist. Our faces were merely inches apart, both of us smiling softly, knowing what was about to happen, yet remaining cautious, careful. Tabitha started moving in closer first, staring down at my lips. I looked her in the eyes once more before I finally allowed myself to move forward and firmly, yet gracefully pressed my lips against her lips. I was kissing Tabitha, and she was kissing back, both of us fitting together so perfectly, so beautifully. 

We stopped for a second only to catch our breath, and this time, Tabitha leaned in first and we continued kissing on the balcony, surrounded by the sounds of cars and buses, the sounds of jazz music playing downtown, the sounds of the city of Manhattan humming in the background. We finally pulled away from each other, and I looked at Tabitha’s face for the first time. She looked flushed, her cheeks tinted pink which most likely mirrored my own face. Everything that just happened within the last few minutes processed in my mind all at once and suddenly I felt extremely embarrassed. 

“Uhm, I…” I stammered. Tabitha was looking back at me, smirking in a way that caused my mind to go places where it shouldn’t. “I… like you, Tabitha. A lot. I noticed a while ago that I started growing feelings for you and freaked out and didn’t know what to do and didn’t know if you would feel the same way and I stressed myself out thinking about it and didn’t know what to do if you didn’t feel the same way because I really like you so much and wanted to be close to you but of course if you didn’t feel the same way that would be fine too there’s no pressure obviously-”

“Hey, hey, Pamela. Calm down, it’s okay.” Tabitha reassured, holding onto my shoulders as I took a huge intake of breath and let it out slowly. I hate myself for rambling whenever I get nervous. 

After my breathing returned to normal, Tabitha leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I feel the same way, love. I’ve liked you for a pretty long time too.” 

I gasped, my mouth opening up into a wide smile, “really?!”

Tabitha laughed, “Of course, darling. How could I not fall for you?” I practically melted into Tabitha’s arms after hearing that, giggling into her neck while she stroked my hair.

A thought occurred to me after a while of hugging Tabitha. “So what happens now, Tabitha?” I asked. Tabitha looked down at me as if she suddenly had the same thought, wondering what happens next. She didn’t answer right away, just continued holding me and rocking me in her arms. I didn’t mind. Being with her like this was nice. I decided to let Tabitha take the lead and make the decision of what will happen next. Whatever she decides, I’ll be happy with. 

Just when I started to think Tabitha wouldn’t say anything, she pulled away from me and said, “wait right here,” before walking off to the end of the balcony, where a large pot of light pink flowers sat beautifully. I recognized those as peony flowers, because dad always told me those were mom’s favorite flowers, and we have plenty of them at home. Tabitha picked out the largest flower and brought it over to me. 

She held out the flower in between her fingers. My heart was pounding loudly as I noticed Tabitha push a strand of hair behind her ear shyly. She was just as nervous as me, if not more. 

“Pamela,” she whispered. “Do you maybe, you know…” she looked away, nerves washing over her. This whole time she seemed so confident, but now I’m realizing that her calm exterior was just a shell for the anxiety inside. Tabitha looked back at me and I made sure to give her a reassuring look, allowing her to see that everything is alright. 

“Do you want to… be my girlfriend?” She mumbled, then looked down to her shoes right after. I caught a glimpse of her tinted cheeks before she looked away, and I couldn’t help but giggle at how cute Tabitha was being. 

“You’re so romantic, Tabs.” I teased, putting a finger on her chin to lift her eyes back up to mine. Tabitha seemed to relax a bit, breathing a sigh of relief as she chuckled. Using my hand already on her face, I pulled her closer to give a soft chaste kiss on her lips. “Of course I’ll be your girlfriend. We already kissed a million times.” Tabitha laughed loudly, her anxiety melting away all at once. 

“Yes, but now I get to do it a million times more.” She said, pecking me on the lips before poking a finger into my stomach, laughter bubbling out of me. Tabitha stroked my hair on my left side, lifting my hair up a bit in order to place the flower she picked up into my hair behind my left ear. I looked back at her and smiled. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling at all this whole time actually, and neither has Tabitha. 

I reached down and grabbed her hand, intertwining our fingers together as we were doing earlier. “Let’s go home, Tabitha.” 

Tabitha nodded, “After you, Pammie.” 

I sent a quick message to Nitty to come pick us up and to drop Tabitha off at home. We sat in front of the Cafe waiting, talking quietly. I watched Tabitha closely whenever she spoke, how beautiful she looked. I’m sitting here with Tabitha, my girlfriend. My girlfriend who is my guardian angel. My girlfriend who is my best friend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done!! This is the first story I've written and completed and I'm so proud. I love my characters so much. I'll probably go back and edit this sometime soon. I might add small one shots about Tabitha and Pamela, and of course some about their friends too. I don't know if anyone actually read this but, look out for part 2 of the Tabela series, the sequel to this!!


End file.
